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Accepting the situation is key. We have become caregivers.
We all want our parents here, but we want them to be healthy and independent, not frail and dependent. But here we all are.
Do what you can to stay healthy yourself, which can be a challenge with all of the demands and stress involved in caregiving.
Let go of the pursuit of perfection. Give yourself grace that you're doing the best that you can.
You can't stop someone from aging and dying. All you can do is make their journey as comfortable as possible.
I'm my 97 year old mother's sole caregiver and it's been a monumental calling. Without hesitation I know that I will never be the same after this journey has ended.
Peace to all.
look at all avenues where you can get a break/someone take over
ensure you are eating as healthy as possible
cut out fast foods/junk foods/sugar/alcohol
and sleep where possible or just rest whenever u can
good luck
it isn’t easy to create a timetable for you as well but essential
GET SUPPORT / HELP
- hire caregivers
- contact volunteer organizations (and churches, neighbors, networks)
- If you can, hire an ind medical social worker
- Family (if you can)
- If parent is in a facility, talk to social worker, administrator - get support wherever you can find it. (Befriend aids ... they are overworked and you creating a good relationship with them will help them help your parent).
SELF CARE
- Do not 'eat' your feelings in (or not eat). Eat healthy as you can.
- Get enough sleep (as you can); take naps (as you can)
- Meditate (try Rick Hanson Zoom Wed 6pm) or others
- Exercise (yoga to swimming to walking).
- Be kind to yourself. Do not judge how you feel.
- Consider a short-term therapist to hel you cope w guilt, grief, frustration
- GET RESPITES (you need to incorporate them in to keep going)
- Tell your friends that LISTENING will help you (not advice giving ... unless you want that).
- Release all your feelings (in a safe place) - could be a friend, spouse, journal, spiritual guide.
ORGANZE
- Create a 'to do list' - for you and others that may help out / caregivers
Writing all the needs out for possible caregivers will save you lots of time in going over the same things over and over again; plus it is a way to assess what is done/what needs to be done.
- Make copies of everything you do. Keep in tabbed binders (after 1-1/2 years, I am just now tossing lots of papers)
- Keep journals:
1) one for you
2) one documenting changes in your loved one (can be helpful in talking to medical providers
RESEARCH CARE FACILITIES
- If needed in the future.
- Be as prepared as possible for the unexpected
KEEP COMING BACK HERE AS NEEDED
Gena / Touch Matters
You do what's best for you. So it's walking, music, meditation or a combo of a lot of things
For me what helps the most is talking to myself.
Sayings I put in my head. Like, let go let God. Or when I leave moms, and I'm upset and don't want to bring it home. I repeat, I'm free, I'm free, in other words I'm not with mom, and I give myself permission to be happy, leave it at moms
This has really seemed to help me the most.
Someone my send me to the funny farm if the hear me yelling, I'm free, but oh well. Reminds me of the beginning of the Mary Tyler More show, when she throws her hat in the air.
Try to remember how they were before because it puts the current situation into a clearer perspective.
It’s only poop.
It's very hard. I lived and do things one day at a time.
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