By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Honestly I thought my mom was not going to make it to 2024, but here we are. Hospice has been a godsend, and her aids in MC are very sweet and care for her so much better then I ever could by myself. It's an adjustment for sure, but one that is inevitable. Make sure you check a few facilities out if possible, and know that it will take you and her some time to adjust.
When I was in the car, on my way to the hospital to have my first baby, I remember thinking, there is no way out of this but through it.
There are those times in life that we have to face reality.
”you never had control, all you had was anxiety” Elizabeth Gilbert
One foot in front of the other. Don’t over think it. YOU aren’t the author of the cycle of life. We do a lot of fancy dances to avoid reality. You can’t live mom’s life. It’s hers to live out.
You can be her advocate. I’m a lot better advocate than I ever was a caregiver.
It’s a learning curve. We will help you. Hugs
I look at it as ….all children go to school when they come of age .
Many of us will need a facility some day if we live long enough .
Inevitable .
Guilt infers causation. Meaning in order for guilt to be appropriate, this has to be something you caused, and caused with malice aforethought. It must also be something you can FIX.
You didn't cause this.
You can't fix this.
You are not using the right word, and words we tell ourselves, label ourselves, have great power.
The correct word is grief.
You are experiencing grief for all the losses and for having to stand witness to them knowing there will be more added daily to the pile.
Is that not worth grieving?
Throwing your own life on to the funeral pyre of your parent doesn't help your parent and it doesn't help you.
Life is full of grief at any age, full of unhappy times.
You do your best and understand your human limitations. You aren't god, and Sainthood is a nasty job description.
I wish you the best.
My parents are getting better care there than I and my siblings could give. It would have killed us trying.
My mother hates it there but I don’t care. She is where she needs to be.
Can my parent remain at home SAFELY?
Does my parent need 24/7 care?
Placing anyone in care is not an easy decision. And it shouldn't be.
So when you get to the point where you have made that decision a LOT of though and anguish has gone into it.
I am sure you have gone over all the Pro's and Con's.
Do not second guess yourself or your decision.
I am sure your parent will say they hate it.
I am sure they will say they hate you for "putting them away"
Just remind them and yourself that you made this decision because you are wanting the best for them.
But you can not be a daughter (or son) to your parent and not a primary caregiver.
But you can help them adjust. When they want to go home, Validate how they feel, and then Redirect them to something else.
Talk about their interests, look at pictures or magazines. Go for a walk together. Do activities with them in common area. Etc.
All the best