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The whole family ignored this. As long as Mom and Dad were doing everything..they could all just go about their lives.
But, when the day was less than a week away, and my folks announce their new address.....wow...the blow up was amazing. Now they believed them. Grandma was moved to NH within the week. See...no one else was going to do the personal care...just as long as my folks did it they could ignore it all.
Announce your date. And a week before hand..do it again. Then..on that date..leave the house. Go do whatever..job, job search at library, coffee shop, whatever. But stick to your guns. Force them to belly up.
The entire family can discuss what to do about this screamer, but none of them individually or altogether can make your decisions about your life. You get to decide when you are burned out and when you have had enough.
How much respite do you get? How many hours/day do you spend with FIL? How many days of the week? Do you and your spouse get time alone together? Do you get any pay for the work you are doing?
Discuss this with your spouse. Draw your line in the sand. You have experience? Well, you can Teach the Family what to do! Look, my mom was bedridden for over 13 years. She was on trache (hole in throat for the oxygen) and stomach tube. My nieces visited once a week. They offered to help me change their grandma's pampers. All they did was hold grandma while I did all the dirty work. {chuckling... there was a lot of gagging and face turning away because grandma's poop was awfully stinky!} One day, I was busy, grandma was choking on her saliva. 17 year old niece jumped up, picked up the suction tube, turned on the machine and suctioned her grandma's throat. Did I Teach her how to do it? No. But she observed me doing it so many times, that she was able to do it on her own. This is from a 17 year old! By the way, her boyfriend's mother tried to dissuade her Not to help with her bedridden grandma because she might "catch" something bad from her. {eyes rolling}
I think you need to really re-evaluate your situation. Is it true that you are the only one who can take care of FIL (father-in-law)? Or is that a very good excuse for the family to palm him off on you?
Give notice just like you would with any other job. If he is in your home, you can give an eviction notice too, or move out yourself.
your wifes family needs to know that someone else needs to step up to the plate and help out like you did, and if not tell them to start looking for a nursing home .....
The whole family ignored this. As long as Mom and Dad were doing everything..they could all just go about their lives.
But, when the day was less than a week away, and my folks announce their new address.....wow...the blow up was amazing. Now they believed them. Grandma was moved to NH within the week. See...no one else was going to do the personal care...just as long as my folks did it they could ignore it all.
Announce your date. And a week before hand..do it again. Then..on that date..leave the house. Go do whatever..job, job search at library, coffee shop, whatever. But stick to your guns. Force them to belly up.