By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I can understand your frustration and wanting your mom to get out of bed. My mom is 95 with Alzheimer's and became more like what you described in the past year. She started staying in bed more and more, letting the staff bring her meals to her room which they really weren't supposed to do because she was living in assisted living at that time.
Then the pandemic happened. My mom was completely mobile and able to get dressed on her own, the lockdown at her facility was March 13th and one month later she was left alone in her room near death from severe dehydration and COVID. After moving her to a new facility and into their memory care unit where she is getting much better care we brought hospice on because she could no longer walk, dress herself and had lost over 20 pounds from not eating or drinking much.
Some of her issues was that she was not and had not been sleeping well for years. Now that she is under hospice care, they decided to put her on a very low dose of a medication to help her sleep. That helped her tremendously with at least her outlook. They just added a low dose of an antidepressant although I myself am not convinced it's an issue and neither was our new hospice company 's nurse but, I said let's keep her on it for the 4-6 weeks they said it would take before it takes effect.
Finally, I had a conversation with the new hospice doctor and she said pretty much what "AlvaDeer" said about her father - they simply are tired!
My mom is just like yours when she says she's "comfortable" where she's at which is in her bed. The facility even gave her a nearly new recliner for her apartment and they try to get her to sit in it (because she's starting the bedsore situation). As soon as they get her in it, she says she wants to go back to her bed. Even the Activity Director has tried to get my mom to engage a little more and she's just not interested. Not even to play BINGO which was something my mom loved to do. So for now, she is getting both dog and puppy visits in her room/bed for at least some type of interaction.
So I'm trying to just accept that it's her being tired. She's the oldest of eight siblings; five which are still remaining and she had helped her mom take care of them since she was five years old - so yes, I think at least in my mom's case...she's very tired!
While AlvaDeer's advice might be part of it I hesitate to make that assumption based on this alone, I spent many years thinking that maybe my mother was simply worn out physically and mentally but she kept right on living to age 99. I'm a believer in schedules, I really do think that most people do better if they follow them (I'm not talking strict adherence, just loose guidelines). Longer time lying inactive can lead to wakefulness at night, pressure ulcers and even contractures (as I discovered from personal experience), someone with incontinence probably should be up changing their briefs as well as making an attempt at using the toilet and washing up - lots of seniors have medication schedules as well that need to be followed. Once those basics are taken care of there is nothing wrong with heading back to bed for a long nap.
Please try not to make her confess that she might be 'depressed'.
What are you seeing that makes you think that if she says she’s comfortable and fine she isn’t actually feeling what she says?
https://health.sunnybrook.ca/mental-health/apathy/