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I understand what you mean about finding messes and changing bedsheets. My mom recently started to get "smart" about the depends and she would take them off or pull them down and go anywhere!!!!! So, I bought the diapers with the sticky tabs on the side for her to wear at nite. I use a little masking tape for extra security as well as a depend overtop.I have also made her PJs that are one piece and fasten in the back(was a great suggestion from a member on here).By the time she fiddles with her PJs and her diaper she already went in them. Saving her bed linens from the mess. So, now I can get some peace and not cleanup pee and poop all day and nite. She still has her good days and bad. But there is more good days now!!
Also if she is going more than normal, check with doctor to see if she has a Urinary tract infection!
I know, trust me that this is so difficult to deal with. My Moms "accidents" were destroying the house.
GOOD LUCK!!! I hope my suggestions might help you!!