By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
We often suggest watching Teepa Snow videos to learn how to distract and divert those who are distressed.
We talk about therapeutic fibs where we bend the truth to make life more manageable for our mentally challenged.
At this moment in time you have the CoronaVirus that you can blame everything on.
I would explain to her that we are not to travel. It’s too dangerous. That the Coronavirus is ruling our lives. Blame everything on CV as long as possible. Since she shouldn’t be going out she shouldn’t be tempted to buy him things. If she is fretting you might encourage her to write him a letter instead. Don’t argue or try to reason with her. Don’t set yourself up as the bad cop. Put that on the Coronavirus.
“Yes mom, I know you miss dh, it’s sad. If only the CV didn’t require us to stay home. Could you help me fold this laundry? I’ll do the towels and you match the socks”. While the virus might be stressful for her as well it probably would be less so than her desire to return to Florida. If the CV is too abstract for her maybe try substituting The President said or The Governor said or the News or The Doctor. So many people to put it off on. You know your mom best and what might work. You might even say DH doesn’t want you to get sick and get this horrible flu. She can’t accept the idea of him rejecting her so skip that part. I’m sorry for this extra stress in your own life and do realize that many many people grieve broken relationships regardless of dementia. In other words it’s an honest reaction to a broken heart. You can’t protect her from that. You can try to distract her for both your sakes. Call her doctor for an antidrpressant if she doesn’t already have one.
Your profile says husband suffers from Dementia so good reason why he shouldn't be caring for Mom.
Having seen the toll of living with a dementia patient took on my dad, I can understand your mother's spouse's attitude. He sees a limited number of years left and he had no life with your mother. She was a stranger in the household with increasing demands and erratic thought patterns. That will wear on anyone. You may need to find a memory care facility for your mother eventually.
Come up with a vague answer to her questions and try to distract her into something else.
Three weeks is not a very long time for her to become accustomed to her new lifestyle. It’s difficult to accept change when one has all ones mental faculties. Having dementia makes it much, much harder. It’s time to throw her doctor under the bus. Tell her when her doctor says she can go back to Florida, you’ll take her back. You can even say that her husband is remodeling the house for her and it’s not done yet. But make sure you tell her husband about this fib.
You really will make yourself crazy trying to explain the truth to her. Good luck. Come back with updates. We care!