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A quote ... "If your not part of the sollution your part of the problem" don't waiste your good energy on problems (those who add problems) use your energy for solutions.
My dad broke a tooth over the weekend and needed to get to his dentist Monday. I asked several people over the weekend if they might be available to take him but no one was able (everyone had other things, golf, cutting lawns, picking up kids at school). I really could not take further time off work (I've missed a lot over the past 3 months due to his many hospitalizations). Thankfully the dentist was able to give him an after hours appointment and I could take him. Also since this occurred over a weekend it was not possible to hire a caretaker for the day to take him.
Also, we do have a man who cuts the grass and does all the trim work weekly. Also have a man who plows our 200 foot driveway. (We have 1-1/4 acres) So, it's not like yard work is not being done at all. As an example, a neighbor just came over our property line and lined our fence with sand - to keep the weeds from coming on his property he says. He did not discuss this with us or ask permission - he just did it. Like I said the grass and trimming is done weekly so there really are not any weeds around the fence. This is the kind of thing I really do not have time to deal with and that I have trouble understanding. This is just rude and not neighborly. (note - neighbors have lived next us to 20 years and he's never once mentioned a possible problem).
Thanks for letting me vent. Brainstorming helps!!
Thanks again everyone!
Looking back now, when my friends were doing this, I really had no concept of how much time and energy caregiving demands. It really is one of those things that you have to experience to get the whole picture.
This does not, however, give anyone the right to judge or be impatient with you. But you do have to communicate with everyone. (ie: I am sorry if I was short with you, but the care of my father is stretching me thin right now.) You may get more empathy and perhaps even help if they know what is going on in your life.
Also, do a self-assessment to see if you have been delegating whenever you can. When I first started doing this, I thought I needed to do everything. That is a sure way to early burnout.
If family is not stepping up, are you able to hire in-home help once and awhile? You really do need to step away from things...even if it is to go window shopping or see a film. Can you hire someone to clear the snow or do yard work? We had a young man in our neighborhood who took great care of our yard and would sit our pets when we were away.
take it easy....Lilli