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With no info, she sounds like she is recycling long ago behaviors, the way she interacted with children, whilst continuing her deplorable gossiping behaviors.
Since you mother is already infuriating your household. It might be best to find an assisted living facility, that admits Medicaid residents.
Submit a Medicaid application to find out if she qualifies, since each individual in the U.S. eventually will need Medicaid to pay for long-term care (LTC always drains assets,cash etc.)
In the meantime, remove yourself and all conversations from her area. If she can follow and remember written directions, then she knows what she is doing, and understands to stay out of conversations.
Gotta ask-->does she enjoy provoking you into angry reactions by doing things she knows will upset you? (while pretending to be clueless)?
Start prepping to get her admitted into a facility.
I sent my son over to talk to her for a couple of hours. As they get older, they get worse. I would suggest getting mom out of your house before you blow up at her and she screams it’s all your fault if she has trouble breathing!!!
Do you have a room that you can make yours, whether bedroom or whatever, for you to read, sew, watch a program, listen to radio. A room you can make off limits unless an emergency?
You don't mention age, whether dementia or not.
It is also possible that you just cannot do inhome caregiving. We all have limitations. I know for myself that I could never do that. That is to think and discuss with your husband, for the future. There may need to be placement for Mom so that you can have your life back. Wishing you good luck. Hope you will update us.