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Could be a UTI some sort of infection...onslaught of some kind of dementia. You need to step in as they are unable to see things clearly.
1. Make appointment with mother's primary care physician. If you can't get her in the car, use Telehealth, Facetime, etc.
2. Go on the portal immediately--sign up and keep abreast of all test results.
3. A panel of bloodwork must be done.
4. Find a Geriatric Neuro Psy doc--I said this before on this forum and I will say it again, check out ALL your mother's doctor's on your State Medical Board website.
5. Any type of weight loss is an indicator that their nutrition is lacking or they are forgetting to eat as that is what happens when the brain declines--dementia.
6. More than likely, mother is hydrated.
7. Keep Gatorade (sugarless), Pedialyte and small bottles of water in at all times.
Sounds like this is just the beginning. This website was a lifesaver for me. After 2-3 years, I actually thought I finally knew enough to contribute on this site. It's one thing to read about caregiving, it's another thing to actual be one.
I hope I was of some help to you.
Clearly, cognitively she cannot manage her life.
She needs a caregiver, if not 24/7, every day for several hours.
I agree with an/other/s, contact APS immediately.
Tell her MD that this is an emergency situation and she needs the neurological exam expedited.
She will continue to insist 'nothing is wrong' with the house or perhaps herself. This is a given so expect this response and be prepared to take control and do what you have to do. Do NOT argue with her. Acknowledge what she says so she'll feel listened to and respected, then do what is needed.
There comes a time when we / the family or legal representative (POA for instance, soc sec rep payee) does what is needed - and realizes that 'listening to' and following directions of what the person wants will likely be or will be detrimental to their well-being. If you delay, then more issues and challenges arise and there is a more immediate need for intervention, perhaps having her move. Do everything now to ensure she is not alone.
Do take away all her cards, keys, etc. I read that you can get a phone and program it yourself. Get a house phone. Forget the cell phones (or now I believe you can get a GPS on a cell phone to 'find it.' Although ... anyone can find it and you likely can't put a security code on it as she won't remember how to use it.
She cannot manage these things. It is more than a waste of money.
Her safety is a major concern.
Gena / Touch Matters
Yes you are on dads side - the side that makes him safe! Congratulations on such a great idea!
You can contact your local Senior Services or Area Agency on Aging to see if they might have any suggestions or resources for you.
Are you POA?
Time for a full assessment as to competency.
All else failing do call APS for an assessment, reporting as a senior at risk. Don't enable this behavior. Keep reporting as senior at risk or senior in need.
At some point you are going to have to consider the ER dump or EMS called with some lies about anything to get her transported and admitted so that the SOcial Workers can be called to say that she is unsafe.
Push will come to shove in all this and it will play out eventually that Mom ends up having fallen, or any other excuse to get her transported but it may at that point be too late.
If there's no APS then home may be reported as unclean, unhealthy, unsafe living condition. Just be certain that they don't put it on YOU to take care of; tell them you aren't allowed and cannot --make it up as you go, bad back, whatever you can think of but taking this on will be a nightmare I would think.
Who is there to support all this other than you?
She could have had another stroke... Also, if she is on any meds (prescription or OTC) she may be over- or under-medicating herself so make sure to see if she's on any sleeping meds or other. In the short term she should not be allowed to give herself the meds.
If you have to tell your Mom and "therapeutic fib" to get her to urgent care, then this is perfectly moral and ethical. Something like, "Social Security says you have to have a check-up in order to continue to receiving benefits". Whatever you think she'll buy.
Then she can have a dementia test.
Are you her PoA? Is anyone? If not, this should really be put in place if she is cognitively able (and an attorney determines this, not you).