By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
If she is independent and able to do for herself, I would not worry. If she is in an AL or LTC she is safe and cared for.
You deal by setting boundaries for yourself even if she tries to step over them. If you call and she gets started, tell her you will call her back when she is in a better mood. You get treated the way you allow people to treat you. Be happy that you do not live near her. And do not promise her anything. You should never live with her or her with you. Your in control, do or not do its up to you. Mom needs you more than u need her.
Just because she is your mother doesn't mean that you owe her anything. It is entirely up to you as to how much time and effort you want to put into your relationship with her.
You again have the advantage of being miles apart, so if you decide that you still want to be her advocate(from afar)well so be it. And if you decide that you've had enough of her nonsense and want to go no contact, well so be it.
Only you can decide what you will tolerate and what you won't.
You have to do what is best for your mental health, not your mothers.
Perhaps she needs assisted living ? If she was being looked after in assisted living, then you could step back knowing that she is being cared for. You could call the staff to see how she is doing.
If she is of sound mind and needs no help , go no contact if you like.
What encourages help for an 84 year old person is if they’re being pleasant, thoughtful, kind, undemanding and appreciative. If your mom isn’t any of these qualities, you have the right to pull the plug.
Abuse from others is never okay. Next question, please.