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I am pretty sure that APS will intervene when someone sits in their own waste. Obviously he has a mental deficit or he would not be doing this.
I think that I would call 911 and report that he is a danger to himself and get him baker acted and refuse to bring him back.
That is a deal breaker for me. Having an accident is one thing, willingly pooping your drawers and refusing to clean up, well that means that you need to live somewhere else.
I hope that you can get him help soon. For both of your well being he needs to be hospitalized and then go to a facility.
Up and on the commode/toilet at 9a, 3pm, etc. Change pull ups and inspect his skin.
If this doesn’t work perhaps hire someone 3 mornings a week to assist. M
If he still can’t change his habits or awareness of sitting in a soiled pull up for hours consider LTC where they will establish the routine which will include a change of pull ups and a skin inspection.
If this continues he will develop skin breakdown which is a whole other animal with potentially dire end results.
You can only do your best for him but need to consider what works for you as well as your & draw your own “line in the sand”. Eventually this becomes a situation where no one wins.
In a facility setting, aides just get it done - by trickery, distraction or by just outnumbering.
Does this friend suffer from a dementia or mental illness?
As Country Mouse asked - is this a new thing? Has there been a medical review of behaviour/health/meds lately?
Our company did pretty good training in changing out a client who refused or was unable to control the bowels. You really need quite a bit of room to move around in--esp if the person is a 2 person transfer.
Is he aware of what a diffifcult situation you've put him in? Is he capable of understanding?
Like with babies--feces sitting next to the skin for very long will cause irritation and breakdown of the skin. And 'diaper rash' in an elderly person actually comes on much more quickly--thin skin and more foods to cause irritation.This isn't one of the aging issues you can ignore.
Good Luck with 'the talk'.
(Countrymouse how did you get the other info?)
You have few options.
If he will not allow an assistant, caregiver or other help then you will have to clean him, change him and change bedding or absorbent pads on furniture.
Or
Tell him if he wants to continue living in your house he will have to permit help that will come in, change him, clean him and do light housecleaning for his care.
If he does not agree to these conditions I would tell him that he has to leave. Find Assisted Living (or Memory Care) that would be appropriate. Or if he has relatives he could move in with them.
You might want to contact your local Area Agency on Aging for referrals and help
As far as him pooping, first I hope he's wearing some kind of adult diaper, and secondly, you might want to try putting a bedside commode right next to where he sits, so he doesn't have to travel far, when he does have to go. And having an aide coming to help him would of course be helpful too, even if he doesn't want help.
And if none of that works, then perhaps it's time to part company. You certainly shouldn't be putting yourself in harms way. Good luck.
ONCE
Why is he incontinent?