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Then you make sure that your husband is being treated properly for his pain. Has he been to a pain clinic yet?
Most of us when we took our wedding vows said that we would be with our spouse "in sickness and health, till death do us part." While those words are easy to say the day of the wedding, putting them into practice if and when the time comes is a whole other story. But when we really love someone it can be done, although it can be very hard.
That's when self care becomes very important so we don't lose ourselves along the way.
And I know of what I speak here as my late husband had a massive stroke a year and a half after we were married(second marriages for both)at the age of 48 and I was 36. We were never able to be intimate after that, and I cared for my husband through all the many obstacles, complications and illnesses that ensued including him developing vascular dementia towards the end of his life.
And though he pretty much preferred to just stay home, I am a people person, so I made sure that I was getting out regularly with my female friends doing things that I enjoyed as I learned the hard way how very important self care was.
I also have a strong faith(wasn't necessarily strong at the beginning but it should got stronger as time went by)which got me through everything. I'm a firm believer that without God in ones life everything has to be so much harder than it has to be, so make sure you're leaning on Him.
My husband died at the age of 72 and after we were married 26 years(3 years ago now)and I am grateful that I was able to honor my wedding vows until the end. I'm not going to lie and tell you it was always easy because it wasn't, but I will tell you that now in retrospect if given the chance I would do it all over again for the man I loved and because it has made me into the person I am today and I kind of like the person I've turned out to be.
I'm praying that God will give you the courage and strength needed to continue on this journey with your husband.
Penetrex cream available on Amazon also dulls the pain for neuropathy in the feet and legs for many folks. It helped mom before she got very old and wheelchair bound.
Best of luck
Just saying this so that your husband doesn't get so desperate that he wastes money (and time) on unproven treatments. Only work through his doctor or pain clinic. May you find solutions and gain peace in your hearts on this journey.
Amen to everything funkygrandma59 replied to you.
It sounds as though your husband needs to be seen by someone who specializes in pain management.
Have you considered treatment for your depression?
Gena / Touch Matters
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/
As to intimacy itself, once there is some pain management, and perhaps treatment for depression for ongoing nerve issues, there are many forms of intimacy. You may want to avail yourself of some counseling to discuss.