By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I wonder if you could set up a particular chair near the (locked) door and told your husband to wait for the taxi there. He might sit there for a while until the moment passes, then he'd move on to other things once he forgets about leaving. You go about your business in another room and leave him alone for a bit, then maybe go back in a few minutes and invite him back to have some coffee or do something else.
In the meantime, you need to look into memory care, because you do need to watch out for yourself as well as your husband. This is not a tenable situation.
It looks like the bus stop concept and the "village" nursing home were in two different places, but here are articles about both places --
https://www.fastcompany.com/90183025/uncommon-act-of-design-fake-bus-stop-helps-alzheimers-patients
https://www.businessinsider.com/inside-hogewey-dementia-village-2017-7#the-efforts-may-only-yield-benefits-for-a-few-years-but-van-hal-said-the-small-details-can-mean-the-most-even-if-its-just-pouring-a-resident-the-perfect-cup-of-coffee-8
It sounds like DH's AD is progressing rather quickly, considering he was just diagnosed less than 18 months ago and is already thinking you're not his wife and wanting to leave, paying for a cab with a driver's license, etc. He's at least at the moderate phase of the disease at this time. Have you started looking into Memory Care ALFs yet? You also expressed a concern that he may be asked to leave for possible behavioral issues, mostly vocal (not physical). Speak to his doctor about possible medication to calm him down before you place him; that's pretty important b/c you don't want him upset or agitated in the first place; that's not fair to HIM, nor would it be fair to the other residents if he was acting in a belligerent fashion towards them all the time. The calming meds, say Ativan at .25 mgs, might calm him down NOW to the point where he's not wanting to leave on a daily basis. Maybe not, because delusions are not associated with agitation. But do speak to his doctor about other meds that may be prescribed to deal with the delusion end of things.
My mother had advanced dementia and was delusional herself, insisting her mother was in the Memory Care ALF somewhere, hiding from her, and she was extremely frustrated that she was unable to find her. So it was delusion combined with agitation..........Ativan at .25 (and eventually increased to .5) helped A LOT with that situation.
The Memory Care ALF mom was at did a superb job caring for her, I have to tell you, and I was able to visit her quite often and spend time with her there. It was the best of a bad situation, which is all you can really hope for now, sadly enough.
I'd also get him a wrist bracelet with his name & address/phone # on it, saying he has AD, in case he wanders and gets lost, so the police will know who he is and where he lives.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing Alzheimer's and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
She also has published a workbook entitled, “It Isn’t Common Sense: Interacting with People Who Have Memory Loss Due to Dementia.”
https://www.amazon.com/Isnt-Common-Sense-Interacting-Dementia/dp/1481995995/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468655&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-4
I also recommend a book which is a biography called Living in the Labyrinth, A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's, by Diana Friel McGowin
https://www.amazon.com/Living-Labyrinth-Personal-Journey-Alzheimers/dp/0385313187/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2AYP52HTU6G87&keywords=living+in+the+labyrinth&qid=1660070252&s=books&sprefix=living+in+the+laby%2Cstripbooks%2C139&sr=1-1
Wishing you the very best of luck with all you have on your plate.