By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
When was mom tested for dementia? Was this a psychologist or psychiatrist doing the testing? Were these short, in-office tests, or a whole battery of tests taking a half day? (My mother could pass the short tests well into her dementia.) But, if she doesn't have dementia, what is the conclusion about her memory loss? What is causing it?
I would say that the antidepressants she is taking aren't working, wouldn't you?
Here are some ways I think you might be able to help your mom.
1) Advocate for her for adjustments to her medications, since what she is taking doesn't seem to be working.
2) Sympathize with her feelings of losing her mind, and reassure her she is safe. Don't disagree with her when she states what she feels.
"Oh, sometimes I think I am losing my mind!"
"That must feel really scary. You are not really going crazy but your memory isn't working correctly now. That is sad! I feel really bad about that. The good news is you are in a place where they understand about memory problems and they will see that you are safe. They can remember things for you."
3) Keep reassuring her that she is safe and she is loved. She is still a great person, even with memory problems.
4) Don't ask "do you remember?" She doesn't want a test! Instead share your memory. "I seem to remember the doctor saying ... Let's see what the nurse has in your file." (This took me a while to make a habit. "I remember a time when you were trying to make gravy ..." NOT "Do you remember the time ..." My mother liked stories of her past, but, boy, she sure could not remember it!)
5) Visit. It can be very hard to engage with a depressed person, but you can sit next to her and hold her hand.
Keep in touch here. We'll want to follow your progress.
You say she "Doesn’t put any effort into trying to remember events." And that may be literally true. Depression can make one that lethargic. But what if she really can't recall these events? They are in her brain, presumably, but she can't bring them up. Depression may be causing her memory loss, or realizing that she is losing her memory may be causing her depression. For an independent woman to realize she now needs assistance might be depressing, too.
It is really hard to engage with someone who is in the middle of a depressive episode. Depression often robs people of their initiative.
Many people on this forum have had experience with depression. I think we need a little more information about your mother's situation to give specific responses.
See All Answers