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I would get all the reports and facts together before dismissing any of his doctors.
His diabetes did not cause his vascular dementia. The strokes did. Don't be fretting and wishing you'd encouraged him to take his sugar more regularly and watched his diet.
You were very observant about his changes and very persistent in getting them taken seriously. Good for you! This is a shocking diagnosis, out of the blue, as you say. I'm confident that you'll cope remarkably well, once the shock wears off a bit.
Learn all you can about vascular dementia. Most general "dementia" information is based on Alzheimer's, and will not apply in total to your dad. For example, the 7 stages described for ALZ only apply to ALZ. Other kinds of dementia progress in different patterns.
My husband's PCP was totally useless once he developed dementia. For his general health, I suggest you switch to a geriatrician. And stay with specialists for his special needs!
It seemed sudden when my LO was diagnosed too, but, then I started thinking back on things. There were issues that we didn't understand and had no idea it was related to dementia. Like, she was very protective of her cat. I thought that she just loved the cat, but, it was more than that. It was an unhealthy obsession with it, and I should have noticed then that something was off. Plus, weight loss and fear to leave her house. Still, once she was diagnosed, things progressed at an alarming rate. That doesn't mean it will happen with your father, but, for her, she went from running her household, paying bills, etc. to needing major support in a AL, wheelchair bound, incontinent, and no short term memory.
I'd discuss your questions with the neurologist, so they can address your concerns and allow you to be able to plan. I know it's so difficult. Do you have family members to help support you and your father?
This is one reason I would never give up any of the specialists in favor of a PCP.
It must be unsettling and sad to learn that your father has had so many strokes, and has other issues as well. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to write to the PCP and explain the missed diagnoses, and advise that you won't be seeing him or her again. He/she will probably "get his back up" and worry about malpractice claims, but maybe he/she will be more focused on other patients and improve that way the practice is managed.
No one is really going to know how your father segued into dementia, but the point is that he's there now. Dementia moves at different paces, faster for some people than for others. Of 2 people I know with similar dementias, one segued through the multiple stages over several years. Another's was short, perhaps a few years or less.
I'm sorry for the turmoil you've experienced; take some time to study dementia, think about the next steps and how his care will be managed. And give yourself some down time as well as this must have hit you literally like a "ton of bricks." It's a shocking diagnosis, so be kind to yourself as you plan your next steps.
I would focus now on getting appropriate meds and treatment through the neurologist who caught the issues.