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Don't make him be around his great-grandmother with Alzheimer's and don't force her to have to be around a three-year-old who you cannot control. Neither party benefits from those visits.
Leave him home. He does not need to make memories with hs great-grandmother and she will not remember spending time with him.
I have a few memories when I was a little kid of visiting one of my grandmother's elderly aunts whose son brought her to America.
Let me paint you a picture of this experience.
Think of a toothless corpse with long, dirty nails wearing a black dress, tied in a wheelchair that screams in Italian. She also burped and farted continually and smelled absolutely disgusting.
Now picture a little kid and a bunch of adults who've had a few glasses of the homemade vino because it's a holiday, and they make the little kid go and "Give zia (aunt) a kiss". 'Zia' grabbed ahold of my hair with her her clawed hand and nearly pulled it from the roots.
I'm almost 50 years old yet I still remember the terror 'zia' Lucrezia
like it was yesterday.
Don't do that to a little kid. Leave the three-year-old at home.
Me, I wouldn't take a 3 yo to visit someone who has late stage dementia. The child does not need to be exposed to that behavior.
KEEP VISIT VERY SHORT when you have the young one with you
There is no real reason for such a young child to have to be exposed to this overlong. He is very unlikely to remember or care a lot in future.
Give him fun things to give to gran. Help him make a card with her as a young woman, better still, a child, or as his gran making things for him. Teach him to say "I am so sorry you don't feel good, Gran, and I hope you will be better soon". Take it slow, gently, and keep it short. Use it as a teaching moment; we all need to learn compassion as early as we can.
Hope you'll update us.
It is sometimes not practical.
I used to explain my Husbands dementia and the way he acted in stores (he would make noises that to kids sounded like crying) by comparing it to kids they might know in school that have Autism. I tell them his brain does not work like yours or mine.
You can explain some things to kids but 3 is a bit young to grasp that concept. Then they may also fear that their brain can get broken somehow.
Talk about grandma. Tell him she is not well. but tell him stories and show pictures of her. Tell him what she used to be like. He can know her through stories,.
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