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It is no reflection on you. It is part of the condition.
Dementia patients know there is something wrong, but can't figure it out. They try to protect their dignity by acting normal. In their minds they know they should know the answers to questions and learn how to wing the answers. It is one of the saddest things to watch. Now it is difficult for him to continue to hide his condition, but still works at it.
Try to be patient, try not to take it personally and don't beat yourself up with guilt or feeling foolish. It is no reflection on you. It is just part of the program... :(
My mom does it too. Frustrating. And she sound completely "normal" when she's telling stories to my kids or family, etc. but I KNOW that what she's saying is suspect at best. Guess it doesn't really "matter" but just kind of weird.
(I didn't know patients with dimentia could act more coherent by choice!) Odd. It adds: "insult to injury", cuz you use so much energy caring 4 them & they manipulate you like that. Pretending they're fine, & you look like a liar? That would be quite discouraging I think. Sorry ur hurt.
My mother acted nice 2 anyone but me, but I never had her checked for dimentia, cuz she'd always been that way.
I wish you well friend, please try to have yourself a massage or something you'd like once in a while.🌷
Once we made him aware he started questioning her and found there was reason for concern and ordered tests and referrals for further evaluation.
No no matter how bizarre mom has been acting during the day, she miraculously tones it down for the doctor hoping he will agree she is able to live on her own again.
We always make a point to confer with doctor prior to her visits so he is aware of any changes to behavior that may be of concern. As soon as doctor visit ends so does her facade. It is fascinating to watch.
With most patients, it's more like 'it takes a huge effort to act socially acceptable, and when the stranger has left I can relax'.
Social skills are often the last part of verbal interaction to disappear. I had a patient once who was nearly non-verbal with the womenfolk of family and staff, but whenever she heard a man's voice she would become charming, even flirtatious. Took a long time for her male primary care doctor to realize that she could no longer live alone -- he was so blinded by her charming joking around that he missed the confabulation.
Meanwhile she was leaving her apartment at 3 am to knock on the neighbor's doors and say 'they're not supposed to leave me alone, I don't know what to do, can you help me find my daughter' (the daughter lived in another state).
From posts on this site, I now see that it is very common.
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