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He can no longer be left to use the bathroom himself.
Every 2 hours at least you or someone needs to say.."Jack", it is time to go to the bathroom." and that person helps "Jack" up and walks him to the bathroom. And if need be you stand there until Jack is done, remind him to wash hands then say "Jack, let's go get something to drink" and go to the kitchen.
Doing this does a few things. Not only does it get him to the bathroom but it gets him moving, changes his position so that it help prevent pressure sores.
Change the type of clothing he has to a type that is more difficult for him to get off easily.
Signs are NOT going to work.
He may not know what the sign means any more, he may not know what a "bathroom" is he may not know how to read any more. Lots of reasons why signs will not work.
It is possible that you may have to look into placing him in Memory Care. this is a difficult decision but sometimes it gets to the point where the level of care necessary is more than can be done by 1 person at home.
It is not a "failure" it just means that his care is more than you can handle at home.
When someone is whipping it out and pissing anywhere and everywhere that is when it's time to find a residential care facility for them.
If that can't be done in home, then placement in a memory care facility is the next step.
https://www.silverts.com/all-adaptive/pants/alzheimer-s-jumpsuits
When toileting became an issue, I literally kept a log of when he’d urinate, dedicate, what/when he ate and drank.
i would take him to the bathroom every few hours. Except at night, he’d wear pull ups with an extra pad in there and with Chux on bed, we rarely had leakage. Sometimes he’d wake me (inadvertently) to use toilet at night, even though he had on pull ups. I still escort him to bathroom to assist him.
In daytime, in the bathroom I would have to help with his pants (we went all elastic, all the time). Id encourage him to sit on toilet. I just thought that would be easier than standing to pee and then sit to poop…just sit all the time. It worked 80% of the time. About 15% of the time we wouldn’t make to toilet in time; about 5% of the time it was flat out refusal to use toilet. He’d get angry and abusive. I’d just wait it out and try again in a little later. I’d watch him closely also note his behavior…is he getting restless, agitated, skirmy etc. when I’d see those signs I’d be ready to get him to bathroom. Gently, but firmly, be loving (even though your mind is saying OMG, hurry up!). And remember how he must feel losing his independence and the indignity of having someone help you with the most personal of issues.
I did buy washable seat pads for all the upholstered chairs and couches and put disposable Chux pads on those! I couldn’t afford to buy new furniture. But again with keeping him on a schedule and escorting him, and learning his “about to potty” behaviors it really helped.
It was very grueling. However it did pass and he went to adult diapers all the time and now as I said, he’s bedridden.
Good Luck and let us know what works for you,
Often, the family member is trying to avoid placement in memory care. Just visit any, you’ll understand why.
The honest, kind answer is, full time supervision, and still expect some messes OR placement in a memory care facility. For most of us, we try everything else before moving our loved one to memory care. It should be a last resort.
We have just walked this walk and it is painful and difficult.
Please remember we come to this forum for help and SUPPORT.
Best of luck.
Of course, this is a real question! I am not yet dealing with this issue with my husband but I know toileting issues are next. I will be at a loss when the time comes.
At the outset of his diagnosis, I thought MC would be an obvious decision when such issues arise. I now realize it is not so easy even if it is the obvious solution.
Momof8, I hope treating the UTI solves the issue for now. Take good care of yourself.
it’s time for a higher level of care.
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