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Been doing this for 20 years. My dad also had a stroke 20 years ago, when my first baby was born. Been helping with his care and he is still alive and kicking after 20 years. My advice is don't even get into this care giving thing. If he needs to be in a nursing home, thats where he should be.
Eight years ago, my dad had another stroke and the hospital urged us to put him in a nursing home. My mom took him home and I became the runner. My mom was only 20 minutes away, but I went there 5 or 6 times a day. From putting him in pajamas, to helping clean him up after eating, etc. I have never had a real life with my children. They have grown up watching me run back and forth to take care of my mom and dad. Now we have all lost our homes in Hurricane Katrina and they live with me. I thought this would be easier than going back and forth, but it is the worse possible thing that could ever happen.
I have become totally resentful and now hate my parents. I cannot stand the site of them. If you have thoughts of not wanting to do this, don't even start.
Hope I don't sound too harsh, just don't lay a guilt trip on yourself, most of us who are caregivers don't have a life. If your sisters are going to definitely take turns with you, I say go ahead and do your part. If you are going to be the main caregiver, they will rely on you solely. Choose wisely what you do and get it straight with them now. My brothers don't help at all and don't feel a bit bad about it.
Marylynne
I'm fairly new to this site and was reading past postings and your situation really pulled at my heartstrings and I wonder how you are doing,before getting on this site I use to feel sorry for myself and now feel really blessed. I am glad you were able to stand up to your sisters is it possible for your Dad to stay in the nursing home it sounds to me that is where he needs to be to get the care he really needs, your sisters want him home but is that realistic since it sounds like you have been chosen to be his main caregiver - 45 hrs a week of home care is not that much not even two days out of seven. My husband is very close to needing a nursing home full time, we have had to call 911 more than 40 times in the last couple of years and he has been in rehab 10 times in the last 5-6 years. When I can no longer do this it will have to be a nursing home--We only can do what we can do and your sisters and Dad will have to accept- you really need to consider you and your husband and daughter and her family-you are not selfish, bad or un caring and I do hope you are still checking the postings and are able to get encourgement from this great group of women who have so many tribuations of their own and are able and willing to hold us all up when we are down-in just the short time I have been on this site it has been amazing to see some go from overwhelming dispair to being able to cope and do what needs to be done