By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Its going to be hard for everyone to adjust now that the person who took up your time is gone. You deserve to have time to yourself. I agree, check out ur local Senior Center. Was Dad ever a Church person? Maybe try that. Maybe they have a Bible study he can go to. The library may have things he can do. Bus trips. Check out the adult Daycares in your area.
Make a list of things he could do and when he asks "what can I do" there's the list. Maybe Dad would do better in an Assisted living. He would have activities and socialization. Outings too.
Your Dad needs some social interaction. He needs new experiences, someone to talk to about your Mom and things...nothing too jarring.
Did he like animals? Perhaps he can help the Humane Society walk dogs. There is always the Senior Center, however, that might be too hard to do with the loss of your Mom so fresh in his mind.
How about the neighbors? With Spring on its way, maybe he could help the neighbors with a garden project. What he needs is something that "needs him".
One of the saddest things is when we see our parents feeling like they are invisible.
Please remember that it has only been a month since your mother has died.
Allow your father to grieve in his own way. Everyone grieves differently.
Maybe he isn’t looking for ways to ‘busy’ himself and simply finds comfort with having your company and someone to understand how he feels.
You may not be able to spend a lot of time with him but he may need the companionship of others.
Do you think that he would participate in a grief support group like GriefShare? (griefshare.org)
Or perhaps he may enjoy attending activities at a senior center.
Wishing you and your dad all the best.
Do you think he would go to a grief support group? Could be really helpful to talk about his loss.
Take him to the senior center and get him involved with the people there. Get him out for a walk. Exercise is always good. Enroll him in a group exercise program - silver sneakers is a program that has different offerings. Fresh air and exercise help clear the mind and improve mood, etc.
My mom always needed help getting started on any tasks. She just can't figure out all the steps and therefore gets stuck on step 1. Maybe it's the same for your dad.
Best of luck.
Your mom was his purpose in life. Everything else now seems meaningless. Our society is terrible at incorporating the elderly into daily life. Do you have kids? Can they sit in his room and do their homework there? Check the library for programs (ours has Tech with Teens, to teach older folks how to use their phones, etc.). Contact the high school…at this time of year, the seniors are panicking over their service projects (at least where I live) and offer him up…help my dad write a memoir. A new person is always great.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and that your grief is being sidelined by caring for your dad. I wish you both the best.
It's hard to know what might be appropriate without knowing those things.
See All Answers