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One thing to consider is how you are dealing with her as a dementia patient, as opposed to your mom. Meaning, have you come to terms with the fact that she can't do certain things, or remember, or act appropriately, etc.? If not, perhaps that could be adding to your feelings? Just guessing here, no offense meant.
Please get some help from someone to either help with mom or help with household chores so that you are freed up at least a little bit. If someone did the cooking and cleaning, you might feel a huge burden lifted off your shoulders.
Good luck.
I am glad that you recognize that you need rest. Too often caregivers say to themselves that we are fine! Or feel that, it’s our job, and say that we don’t have time to rest. Please make it a priority to rest.
There is no way that you are a hateful person. You wouldn’t be on this forum if you were. It’s obvious that you care.
If mom doesn't have the money, then she can apply for Medicaid. You must take care of yourself too, if you want to continue caring for your mom in whatever capacity you decide is best for you. I wish you the very best.
Can mom afford some in- home caregivers? Does she qualify for Medicaid?
Are Adult Day Cares starting to re-open in your area?
Caring for a person with dementia is terribly wearing. You need more down time so you don't burnout completely.