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Though she didn’t know who I was, she somehow knew I was someone who was important in her life. We kissed and hugged and conversation consisted of expressions of love. I’ll always treasure those times.
We keep cards she has received in her nightstand and we reread them. She doesn’t remember them from the previous time and I am always as happy as she if she has a new one. Some are filled with news and we talk about the sender.
Sometimes I call family members with her who are always happy to get a short call.
She knows some or plays along, others not so much but it passes a few pleasant minutes, reminds them she is still here and we thank the ones who have sent cards.
She likes listening to YouTube videos of old favorite performers.
I usually bring flowers or a pot plant, her fresh laundry and any supplies she needs. She enjoys watching me fuss with all these things when I put them away. She always thanks me. She enjoys being cared for. I usually visit on Thursdays but she doesn’t remember how often I’m there.
Oh and I bring a favorite snack. Right now it is watermelon.
Few years ago showed my husband (pre dementia diagnosis) my look book, he really enjoyed it. I'll be trying that again in a few months.
I tried to find a channel aligned with their interest if possible. Cooking or gardening was popular for some homemaker ladies. Sport for others. One lady had been a model & loved the glam & fashions (skimpier the better) on reality TV 😂
It's been my experience that because music comes from a different part of the brain, that even those folks who have trouble speaking and with any of the dementias, can still sing along to music from their past. It's quite beautiful to witness, and might even bring a tear to your eye as it has mine many times.
- Learn how to make balloon animals. While your talking about other things start making a dog or a funny crown. Make one for everybody.
- Bring two coloring books and large crayons. Don't suggest working on it, place one open for her and start coloring in yours. Try to color things not as they should be.
- Bring a marble or bead maze.
- Find stuff at a party store, or the children's section of a bookstore. Or go to the children's section of the library and ask the librarian of that section if they have children's summer activity suggestions.
- Go to an old time hardware store and get wooden clothes pins. Dump a box full of colorful small fuzzy balls (from a craft store) on to a table and ask her to help you try to pick them up with the clothes pins and place them back in the box. If she just wants to do it by hand, who cares, If she'd rather connect the clothes pins to each other, praise the initiative. Don't be upset if anything you bring winds up with other people. Expect it.
- Sing while you do stuff.
- Bring curlers. Put them in your hair and hers. Let her attach them to each other with huge bobby pins.
- Get golf ball sized wiffle balls, big plastic threadable needles, wool or thick yarn and sew through the holes separately or connect together. Maybe a crocheting needle may be better to catch and pull yarn.
- Make or get a little tray size platform, glue little 3" figures to magnets and make them move with another magnet under the platform.
- Get hand puppets. Practice voices for different characters before hand.
- Give her a pedicure, if you can.
- Get old magazines, poster paper and make cut out collages with washable glue. Hang her creation in her room.
- Loosely knot up a bunch of shoe laces, or cuddly fluffy yarn of different types and ask her to help you straighten it out.
- If there is no chance that she might swallow one ask friends, family and neighbors to donate old big buttons. Get washable glue and a thin board and help her do some art. Maybe you can save part of wrappers from canned goods, soap and or bring a chocolate bar and stick that wrapper too.
I've seen them swat a balloon between people with a fly swatter, chair exercises (march in place, use paper plates as cymbals to music), bean bag toss tic tac toe, dance or march to music.
Your Mom may have difficulty doing these at first, however, I've been amazed at how fast my Mom is able to "catch on"...and you are helping tone those muscles! Every movement counts....
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