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Thank you again I know now I am not alone!
If you return to the states, she will still blame you, for leaving her. And you will feel guilty.
I think you've entered a caregiving stage that has no perfect, or sometimes even good, answers or choices.
This is when we have heart to heart talks with ourselves and try to find a happy medium of doing as much as we can while maintaining our self respect and self confidence. And that happy medium is elusive, and changes as our parent journeys toward the end of life and we in our own journeys accompany them, sometimes struggling as much as they do but for different reasons.
Know that you're walking a path that is well worn.
Your Mom will be snippy to you, she wants to vent to someone. She wants you take fix things with her health that no one can fix. Our calendars only go in one direction.
I am amazed that your Mom can still do the accounting required for her rental properties. Is she still able to visit those properties, and does she do the fixing or hires someone. I assume hires. Maybe the people she use to hire have retired and finding good help isn't easy for her. Maybe her pride doesn't allow her to ask for help with the rentals.
At first I was thinking dementia, but since she can manage her rental properties, then it isn't that. At her age, I wonder if she has an Urinary Tract Infection as that can make an older person very grumpy and not user-friendly. Take Mom to her local doctor, the test is very easy [peeing in a cup]. The treatment is usually antibiotics.
Try to overlook what Mom is saying, try to think of it as silly talk. Try agreeing with what she says [even if you don't agree], just to throw her train of thinking in a different direction.