By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Unfortunately, your situation has come to the point where you need to make a difficult choice, your mother or your husband. He is ill and has expressed his wish that he be allowed to fight this battle in peace. Dementia is an awful disease. There’s no reverse gear. He may simply just be tired of dealing with it. There is no shame or guilt in admitting its time to consider a facility for your mom. You’ve put in your time. Be there for your husband and help him win this battle.
If Mum is not in a care facility, now is the time. No ifs and or buts. If it were hit by a bus, she would be in care. If she is in a care facility, let the staff do their job.
Now your husband, he has a big challenge ahead of him and he will need you love and support. Is there any way the two of you can go for a short holiday before he starts treatment? Even a 2 night get away to reaffirm your commitment to each other?
You need to schedule cruxx time. You need to plan time each week, hopefully more than once a week, where you do something you enjoy. Hopefully you can reconnect with friends, as you will need their support as your hubby goes through treatment.
You and your hubby need to make a plan for housework, lawn/garden care, snow removal, seasonal chores, car maintenance, that he usually does. One so it is not an extra chore for you during his treatment, and 2 because you need to have a list of everything in case he does not make it. Not trying to scare you, but you best be prepared.
It is time to make sure your affairs are in order, update your Wills, POA etc.
Sending you both hugs and prayers.
Cruxx, you really should place mom in a AL or somewhere, because the "what ifs" will and can drive you insane. Do it now while you have a chance.
Candace A.Stewart has a great pamphlet called “welcome to planet Alzheimer’s”
Great info packed into a few pages.
Here's 10 rules while on planet Alzheimers.
1. Never argue
2. Logic and Reason do not exist
3. Lying is acceptable
4. You are not who you think you are, you are who they think you are
5. Never take anything personal
6. Old memories are best
7. Learning to do something new is not important
8. Being loved and accepted at all times is
9. Have NO expectations
10. Take advantage of the shuttle back to earth as often as possible.
The road to come is an absurd place.
Take care of yourselves. Do something you enjoy.
Spend fun time together, even if it's day trips once per week or so or a candlelit dinner on your patio or deck if you have one. If you like the outdoors, spend time doing that. Whatever you two like to do together, plan often what you can or go off on the fly as you have time. You need to be there for your hubby and help him through these times while enjoying time together.
Tomorrow is never promised, no matter how old we are. A diagnosis magnifies the fact of how short life is. ((Hugs)) to you!
See All Answers