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That'll only cost the price of the certificate, and that might be a little sweet revenge if she was busted for credit card fraud.
at her age of 90 a full code would be painful. Her new document says this “ if I have a brain disease which cannot be reversed and makes me unable to recognize people and communicate understandably, I do not want CPR, ventilation, artificial nutrition, hydration or antibiotics; only pain relievers including those which May hasten my death (but not intentionally). " Do I understand this correctly? That sounds pretty good to me! At age 90 I agree full code would be terribly painfull, full of broken bones and possibly more brain damage. and if I were in her situation I would not want CPR either! My Mom did not , and she was also in the healthcare field. CPR is harsh! However I do agree you should have been informed in a more timely manner. And if your family is using your deceased fathers CC that is fraud,, plain and simple. And I believe you can hang that on them.
Brother should be fairly compensated as a live in under a family care contract that passes Medicaid look back from now on. Between him and other aides plus household expenses you could be looking at spending over 100k a year easy anyway, but there won’t be the Medicaid complication.
Personally, I would make that the main negotiation over the dnr. Any quality of life she has will diminish if she does survive a full code at age 90 with advanced dementia.
(Ventingisback)
However, it would be very strange if you didn’t realize at all for 1 year, that your old POA document isn’t working anymore.
“mom’s dementia is so bad she said never changed anything but that my sister took her to an office amd she signed things my sister said was good for her.”
This kind of thing is very hard to prove.
By the way, if dementia was mild (2022), the lawyer would be legally allowed to let your mom sign. A bit of memory loss doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to sign.
why would a lawyer hold off on telling me? It doesn’t make sense. I’ve used the original papers to open a savings account for mom to use for home care.
A year is a mighty long time to hang on to documents of this nature.
I am assuming you & your sibs are not on good terms--right?
Since mom has dementia & cannot be relied upon to give the correct information, it's going to be hard to disprove this all. However, sounds like there is a paper trail and you can follow that back. All those 'gifts' of money? Gotta have a good explanation for that.
Sorry to say, you will need the help of a good eldercare lawyer to get this straightened out. And even if you can--mom's state of mind a YEAR ago isn't what it is now.
You need to see if the $$ spent on a lawyer is even worth it. They might do this for a set fee, but more likely, a percentage, which, if you WIN, will take a mighty chunk out of what you might 'win'.
I'm so sorry for this mess. Family can be great..until they are not.
Good luck in your endeavors--(BTW, does the DNR instead of full code make you angry or do you understand that 'full code' is a really rotten way to die? At some point, it's not kind nor loving to put a LO through that.)
at her age of 90 a full code would be painful. Her new document says this “ if I have a brain disease which cannot be reversed and makes me unable to recognize people and communicate understandably, I do not want CPR, ventilation, artificial nutrition, hydration or antibiotics; only pain relievers including those which May hasten my death (but not intentionally).
this doesn’t sound right to me.
also the orig POA said that if it were to be revoked the new one would have to be sent return receipt or certified