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Other pointers I'd give are -
* Be prepared to have to hire and let go of a number of people. It's hard into is finding good, reliable aides, whose personality will mesh into your household. You should look for someone who loves the elderly and understands your mother's health issues. Some people expect to just "sit" with the elder, or "sleep" while Mom sleeps. The problem is that she doesn't sleep all night or for long periods of time, and she wants to get out of bed and look around the house!
* Give them a specific set of duties from the start.
* Make sure that you are very clear about the rate of pay, date of pay, and anything that could cause their pay to be docked.
* Be sure that you have several people you can call if the aide gets sick or calls off for an emergency.
* Be prepared to lose some privacy. It was difficult for me to adjust having people in the house all the time. Never leave valuables around, or anything that you don't want others to see.
I hope that this helps some.
I'll say that there are good facilities and that it is an option for those who need it, etc., but our healthcare system is kind of a racket these days.
That's my rant for this morning!
I recently got a little taste of what an institution would be like if Mom ever need one. She went to rehab for 2 weeks - but I found that I was going out there nearly every day for one thing or another. As others have mentioned about facilities: there is absolutely no privacy...doors are left wide open and really anyone from the outside could walk right in. They put her in adult diapers..."just in case." This was a highly rated facility and overall I thought she received good care, but I know that it would make me sad seeing her "cooped up" in one room all day, waiting for someone to come and get her - such a loss of dignity. The staff members were great for the most part, but mistakes were made and I am glad that I was over there a lot.
I began to think that in-home care offers more individualized care, even though you are paying out of pocket for the services. I realize that it takes a great deal of time and planning, but it can't be worse than running over to the rehab all the time. And I worried about her every minute she was there.
So, when the time comes, I am going to try in-home care. With everyone's help here, I hope I can figure things out. thanks again...Lilli
I strongly suggest you do all possible to try to keep mom at home. I left my job after 22 years with AT&T to take care of my mother. Was the best three years I have had in life. I had to place her in a rehab facility for A few weeks to gain strength after a brief illness. After three weeks of being there all day, I would leave at night, and lone and behold they KILLED her one night by placing her in bed on her side at the EDGE of the bed. Really, who in their right mind would put someone to bed that way?? Staff is overworked and under paid; rushing to get to the next patient caused my mother her life! I did have home care while I was still working and the lady was awesome. She became part of the family and loved my mother as well as she took "care" of me. My one suggestion is to please take care of you! Even when I hired help or Mom was in rehab I was home and never took a break. My health suffered greatly and took a major toll after she passed. I have now taken a job in a Home Health company to fight for other seniors and help inform other care givers that there is help, and they are not alone in the care giving process.
PLEASE take care of yourself and think through decisions before making them. Hope my story helps you to make the best decision for you and your mother. Prayers and hugs coming your way. Bridget W
In a facility there is around the clock care, activities appropriate for those with dementia, others in similar situations and conditions, 3 full meals a day, laundry is done weekly and as needed, a nurse on-site at least 40 hours a week and on-call 24/7, and more. There are generally 2 caregivers and 1 medication aide for each shift. The number of employees working each shift can depend on the facility and if they accept Medicaide residents. All the above and more can relieve a great deal of stress for the family member caring for their loved one.
To be able to decide which situation is best for your Mom or Dad you really need to write down the pros and cons of each situation.
Since my brother and sisters were adamant that I was being reckless and putting my parents in danger, I contacted our local VNA to find a geriatric case manager that could advise me on the safety issues and if it would be too risky to keep them home under the care of private caregivers.
Then I asked our local Aging office if they had information about how to hire in home caregivers. Fortunately they had a list of individuals who were willing to be part time or full time caregivers. Since I recruit and train volunteers at work, I applied that sense of professionalism to the process of finding the right caregiver for my folks.
In our case, we have had 2 long term caregivers that have been exceptional in every way. I made it clear to each of them that the caregiving position was as an independent contractor. In that way, they are responsible for their own taxes and we just make sure to give them their 1099 on time so they can file.
The positive side of living at home for my folks is that they still maintain some control over their own lives. I have gotten to know my parents as an adult .
I have a feeling some people feel like our parents would be safer in a home. That's just not the case --- my poor Aunt fell and sustained broken bones while living at a facility. It's not difficult to understand the research findings that conclude the elderly who live at home live longer.
Of course the downside is that caregiving sometimes swallows you up. Actually it's the people on this website that have taught me about boundaries and this support has made such a tremendous difference. I had no idea how similar many of your experiences have been to mine.
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