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I just will NOT burden our adult child(ren) with our care, so I need to figure something out. So far, we're managing on our own with a twice-monthly housecleaner and occasional yard and home maintenance workers, but after following this Forum for a while, I'm good and scared about what the future holds. We just got notified by our long-term care insurer that we have "options": to continue our current, good coverage but at ever-increasing and potentially unaffordable premiums, or accept a lower or zero premium "buyout" that would maybe cover a year or two of NH or ALF care for ONE of us. We've been paying into this for 25 years! I feel cheated, but it is what it is. We saved as much as we could and tried to prepare for our older years, but . . . here we are.
At this point I'm NO fan of longevity! We have all our legal paperwork in order (wills, POAs, healthcare directives, POLSTs). No passports, though, which would be necessary for a visit to Zurich. . .
My mom lived to be 95, my uncle, mom’s brother lived to be 96. My great aunts lived into their late 90’s.
My cousin is now 100, still dresses very stylishly and drives to church, the grocery, the dollar store, her exercise class, Walmart and lunch with her friends. She cooks and cleans her apartment and helps her neighbors in her independent living apartment. Oh, and she will tell me about her travel plans for next year! LOL 😆
I truly hope that I don’t inherit the longevity on my mother’s side of the family!
Old age is fine for people like my cousin who don’t have any major health issues and enough money to live comfortably. People who are burdened with health issues and financial difficulties feel stressed and don’t want the burden of a long life.
My dad died at 85.
Mom had Parkinson’s disease. When people would tell her that she would live to be 100, her answer would be, “Oh, God. I hope not!”
I will speak solely for myself here, although my spouse shares most, if not quite all, of my views. I have already made as clear as I possibly can, in writing, that I do not want any "heroic measures" taken to keep me alive should I acquire a life-destroying illness or disability--no CPR, no feeding tubes, no ventilators, no pacemakers, no surgery. Being tethered to machines in an ICU is absolutely not my idea of a peaceful death. I have no desire for continued existence if I can no longer care for my own basic personal needs. Comfort care--period. I can only hope that my wishes will be followed.
While I may be envious of 100 Y/Os who are still high functioning, I fear that I will not be one of them. I am already experiencing significant chronic pain and encroaching physical limitations. I am still able to grocery shop, do the laundry, care for our 13 Y/O cat and keep up our home (with twice-monthly housecleaning and other occasional help) but for how long? I worry about what-ifs a lot, although I know that worrying won't help. I checked out several local "facilities" some years ago. I wasn't at all impressed but, before becoming a burden on my family, I would seriously consider that option and hope my funds would last as long as I did.
I understand that many elder care facilities across the nation are being bought out by private equity companies, whose ONLY interest is return on investment. These companies have eviscerated local news organizations and are moving on to healthcare as their next cash cow. That does not bode well for any moderate-income older adult who may need care. Affordable care isn't a problem for the wealthy or for the low-income (Medicaid eligible), but there is a HUGE unaddressed cohort in the middle. Many moderate-income retirees did their best to prepare for their "golden years", but the ground has shifted.
The cost of even subpar NH or ALF care is often out of reach for all but the relatively wealthy if it is needed for more than a year or two. Long term care insurance can help, although ours recently notified us of changes that are decidedly not in our favor. Many of today's older adults (me included) have lived longer than we intended or wanted to. That, coupled with inflation/the high cost of living and the current labor market, has created a "perfect storm" for remnants of The Silent Generation and the coming influx of boomers. I don't have the answer--wish I did!
Corners that may be cut are person assigned to shower 7 or 8 people on one side of hall, however those on other side ring their bell for some kind of help. Staff member leaves one person on a shower chair to answer call bell. If person falls in the shower, there's a good chance it won't be reported if all is well. Another example is long wait times to be helped to the bathroom. Answer to that is slap a diaper on the person.
If you're seeing high turnover, then you need to be going regularly at various times to observe first hand what care your loved one may be getting neglected on. Don't stop and chit chat with everyone on your way in the door. Enter and observe. Then bring issues to the attention of the person who runs the show, ask for how they will resolve, and follow up to see if problem fixed.
I think our country needs to worry less about other countries and sending money around the world and help finance the ALFs so they can pay staff more. Pay the ones directly working with the residents not just the managers.
Doctors visit people at their homes, caregivers are provided for free, and when the time come you are eligible to move to a government owned apartment complex with other seniors that we would call assisted living - all free of charge. The people who work there are employees of the state, are paid well, and have good benefits.
My relatives are always shocked when I tell them that here you pay $6000-10000 per month and what you get for that money. They say “I thought America is the wealthiest country!”
The only solution to this problem is to eliminate private insurers and offer a lot more public senior care facilities. This country’s emphasis on letting private corporations manage our healthcare for profit is killing us all.