By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Stop acting like a chauffeur and stop explaining yourself. Just because someone asks for an explanation does not mean you have to give it. Be busy. Be unavailable. When they ask for a ride say something like "Sorry ladies, I've got plans after the luncheon. Enjoy the talk."
As for this person who dredged up the past some people just have too much time on their hands and don’t have much joy in their lives.
Remember, misery loves company. They want to share theirs with you. While your head may be exploding, realize she’s the clueless one.
Go on being you. This is hurtful to you & for that I am sad. She wants a reaction from you. Don’t give her one. If she does it again walk away politely.
I would think the lady that mentioned it years later may have some Dementia and now has no filter.
It's done, over with, and if there's anything about which to be concerned it's whether or not you can treat it as a "lessons learned." And that would be not provide transportation for those women.
Personally I would have been irritated at what I think was a selfish demand. People who hitch a ride with someone else can't expect cab service at their beck and call.
I am famous for getting WAY too involved in situations that come back to haunt me, and only because I wanted to do the right thing. It's beyond frustrating. Last year I spent 4 months, 60+ hrs a week trying to help a 'friend' pack up and move as she was losing her home to foreclosure, had been given custody of her 3 (horrid) grandkids...and she was sinking, fast. The mother is in jail, the father hasn't made any attempts at contact and does not pay a dime towards support--and she is 68 years old!) I literally worked myself into a coma 'helping' her.
Long story short, the entire house is packed, my SIL was going to sell her home with a 1% commission--she could not have had more support--and the son calls her and tells her not to sell. So she doesn't. There sit 3 fully packed pods in her driveway (on my credit card!!) and she is mad at ME because I cut off her 'funding'. She's been mad at me for almost a year now.
People have said some unkind things to me about 'abandoning her' in her time of trial, and I don't bother to explain. I did the best I could, actually, way more than I should have and I will regret it forever.
I am not mean to this woman. I simply had to cut her out of my life completely. She was the champ of gaslighting and acting all Southern and sweet--but wow, my radar is still up. By now she's taken advantage of so many people it's crazy....
You did NOTHING wrong.
Feeling sorry and concerned for her, I went to her house, helped her pack, got her settled in my apartment, and tried to help her plan to move forward.
After midnight, her husband came over, banging and pounding on the door. I wouldn't let him in. She changed her mind, decided to go back to him, easily dispelling all the hatred she allegedly had a few hours ago.
While I continued to be courteous to her at work, I never again considered her a friend or did anything that dragged me into her life.
MidKId58, I'm soooo glad and proud of you that you stood your ground!
If the others who criticize you are so supportive of her, why don't THEY step up and get involved in her manipulations?
Were you in the wrong...
It depends, yes and no, in what way in the wrong, how do we define your role in that particular moment, etc etc etc
No, you were doing them a favour, you weren't there particularly in a caregiving capacity, your responsibility to these ladies was limited.
But possibly yes: one of the ladies may have needed to go home for reasons she hadn't disclosed to you, but possibly had disclosed to her companion, who was therefore being indignant on her behalf to other members seated near them. As there had previously been the bathroom incident, my guess would be something related to that.
Whatever, we live and learn - don't volunteer to escort unreliable attendees to a lecture you yourself definitely want to hear! But honestly, fancy the member's bringing this up again *now*. What on earth's the point of that?
What's that people say about "no good deed goes unpunished?" Feel better!
If they/she didn't disclose a reason that may, or may not, have led you to a different decision, that is on them.
You have every right to not be a pushover.
As for anyone bringing it up EVER again...make an announcement right there that 'so & so' has just offered her car as a cabbie for anyone and GUARANTEES to drop everything on a dime to deliver them.
There Are things called taxis
tell that lady and any others who may still be virtue signalling, politely but firmly that you do not appreciate her unsolicited opinion and that it makes you feel singled out and hurt. Then refuse further conversation on the matter
this is called assertive without aggression. It puts the ball back in their court and they have nowhere to go
Ot you could just tell her to piss off
Panda, love the last line !