By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
This.is much more than just the bib. Isn't it? You simply cannot provide the care any longer. And that is completely OK! You are exhausted and can't go on like this much longer. Breathe.
Living with these changes in a loved one can and does cause resentment. And obviously it has in your case. I get it and I understand. Have you shopped for a facility, nursing home, for him? Have you met with an elder law attorney to learn about laws in your state on qualifying for Medicaid? Medicaid will not impoverish you.
Start there. Come back to vent and ask for support any time you need it. HUGS!
I now see this post is from last Nobember. How are things going?
They are not as tacky looking as most bibs and there are masculine patterns as well. Keeping tidy is good for him and you.
It seems more likely that he cannot control of his drool or he is unable to be congnizant of it. I know it is hard on you but please don't take it as a personal affront. If his stroke blinded him, you wouldn't take it personally.
You may have to place him if you cannot handle seeing his decline.. It isn't a weakness, it is just acknowledging what you are capable of. If you push yourself past what you can handle, resentment and aggression can occur. And no body want that for either of you.
It's hard to witness someone you love change so drastically, this I know, but please remember this, that if your husband has been diagnosed with vascular dementia, his life expectancy is only 5 years, so there may come a day when you wish for just one more day to care for him, and to wipe his drool.
My husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in July 2018, and died Sept 2020. I thankfully was able to care for him in our home until he died, but not everyone is cut out to be a hands on caregiver and that may be you, and that's ok. You may have to place him in the appropriate facility where he will receive the 24/7 care he needs and you can get back to just being his wife and advocate. You have to now do not only what is best for your husband but also what is best for you. I wish you the very best in deciding exactly what that is.
With stroke, the patient really has to want to work at it even if uncomfortable or even painful, and generally working at it works better the sooner he starts on it.
He wasn’t conscious enough for a swallow test, so they put in a feeding tube directly to his stomach. He can still feed himself, but he is supplemented with the feed. You may want to go that route. I know there’s other people on here that make a real dinner, purree it, and then feed it to them that way.
I’m sure if you talk to your doctor about your concerns about his swallowing and losing weight, and suddenly going downhill, the should take you seriously in his current state. Plus, it’s by no means a drastic measure.
I feel for you, I really do.
I can totally understand the reaction you have to this. I mean, it is kind of gross to have drool all over everything, not offense. Instead of a "bib" can you do something else that would help catch the drool and food that can be taken off after meals and thrown in the laundry?
Is the cause of the drooling the stroke? So sorry that you are in a tough situation here.