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My mom had dementia and once, memorably, tried to wrest the steering wheel from my husband. So, no riding in the car with me.
The NH actually gave us, at no cost, an aide. This was because I told them that I needed to meet mom (and aide) at the doctor's office, not show up at the facility to accompany her.
I was coming from 2 hours away, have a husband with unpredictable health issues and traffic. So I guess they got concerned that mom might end up unaccompanied.
The ambulette which locks down the wheelchair firmly was a source of great comfort to my mom. Also, the big strong guy doing the lifting and the driving? Worth every penny.
Hire an ambulette that can take mom in a wheelchair.
Make sure in advance that the opthamologist can examine mom in the wheelchair and does not need for her to get up into the examination chair.
I'm passing on what we did with MY mom once she was in a nursing home.
The retina specialist can do almost all of the exams in her wheelchair but there does come a point where she needs to transfer to a special exam chair where he can use his tools to take a good look at her retina and macula. I don’t worry so much about that transfer because there are assistants in the office who can support her.
I did consider hiring an ambulette, but unless Medicare will cover it, it’s a lot of money (she doesn’t have much and I’m retired on a fixed income myself). We may have to bite the bullet but that’s one more person who may be a COVID risk.
I really appreciate the idea about maybe hiring one of the aides. I’ll see if any of them want a little extra money on a day off (And check to make sure the ALF allows it—they do NOT permit us to “tip” their workers).
Thanks again!