By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Thanks for keeping us posted, I won't give up on my Mom and Dad even though Dad has long given up and Mom seems to like dweling in the world of "I can't", I'll rest but I wont stop trying.
@AlLarck, respite care sounds like it will fit the bill for you. It's so important that we take breaks and do things that we enjoy. Life marches on, don't get left behind. Best wishes to you.
I agree with Grace that you need to be positive about and live your own life. Learn about boudaries and taking care of yourself. You don't want people feeling sorry for you, or you feeling sorry for yourself, as that will not improve your situation. How would you feel with as many ailments as your Mother has? I would be frightened and feel helpless. Don't allow her to victimize you, but get someone to come in and sit with her. Remember she is afraid, that emotions comes out as meanness in some people. You are a Blessing, Dear One:)
Does she like being read to? Can you find a book or magazine articles that you both would enjoy?
Does music cheer her up at all? (My mother likes things like Lawrence Welk.) Could you enjoy a snack together and listen to something she likes?
How about a project like organizing photographs that have accumulated over the years? Or looking at the season's greeting cards together.
If she wants your company, she might like sitting in the kitchen while you cook and it might perk her up to be asked her advice about how to make various dishes. If watching you do things brings out her critical streak, try to joke about it, or humour her sometimes and try to do it her way. She is a very sick woman; cut her some slack.
Play checkers with her. Do crossword puzzles together.
Also try very hard to arrange some respite care, so that your whole life is not focussed on sickness and crabbiness. As a caregiver I do know how next to impossible that is, and also how essential. Can she be left alone for short periods? Could you join a bowling league or a book club or sign up for community ed cooking classes or do something to get you out of the house on a regular basis? Is there a room in the house that is just yours, that you can retreat to, with the understanding that you are not to be disturbed except for emergencies?
Try not to take Mom's crabbiness personally. She may want to buy you tickets for a guilt trip, but you really can refuse to go! :)
May your holiday be calm.