By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I ask because you mentioned paying for groceries for the both of you out of your retirement funds, and a couple of other posts expressing concerns on your running out of $.
Here is what I’m worrried about for you, & my concerns are based on mom filing for LTC Medicaid to pay for her custodial costs in the NH.
- that there has been commingling of your and moms $ once you did retirement and moved up to Silverton. That you buy stuff and you have her repay you. Stuff like this is really muddy for when a caseworker is reviewing her application as it looks like mom gifted you money. Yeah it’s explainable but extra time and math paperwork for you to do.
So in addition to all the other stuff you have to do, start to find the receipts that you can use to establish, it’s repayment NOT gifting. The caseworker are not the enemy but they need to have you provide something plausible for them to OK. Comprende?
- get the house appraised and you want it to be a “conservative” appraisal. If house is really bad as for structural stuff like foundation or has eons of delayed maintenance then get it inspected first and that inspector report you give to the appraiser to use if they desire to (they will). House having a lower value will enable it to sell faster as that is flat what you need to do as you NEED 2 HAVE IT SOLD 4 she ever files for LTC Medicaid
- Why? Well it’s because the moment she applies for LTC she is required to do a copay of all her mo income to the NH. So she will have no-nada-zero of $ to pay anything on that house. No $ for utility bills, no $ for taxes, no $ for insurance or pay the yard guy. So it will end up on you to pay and it will difficult for you to be reimbursed from the Act of Sale $ as it’s her house so her $ to the penny and $ to you would be looked upon as gifting at first glance. Medicaid really takes the position that what we do for our parents we do totally out of a sense of familial duty without any expectation of repayment. You’d end up doing an Appeal and that takes time and meanwhile the NH is getting nervous that LTC Medicaid isn’t yet approved so they are not getting any State $.
If you right now know that you are going to have to front $, and it likey to take a good long time to sell the albratross, please pls get an attorney to do a Memo of Understanding or Promissory Note drawn up with mom signing and with witnesses and notarized.
I’ve got to ask, what is your plan for when the house is sold?
So this is your mother's house, correct? I'm assuming you're POA. The POA has a responsibility to use the person's assets in the person's best interests. That would mean selling her house and using the funds to support her care needs, just like she'd have to do for herself if she was in a position to downsize on her own. Her house = her money, meant to pay for her care.
So this is your mother's house, correct? I'm assuming you're POA. The POA has a responsibility to use the person's assets in the person's best interests. That would mean selling her house and using the funds to support her care needs, just like she'd have to do for herself if she was in a position to downsize on her own. Her house = her money, meant to pay for her care.
But this is often the case, people don't want change , specially when we age, and don't want to admit are age.
I'm truly sorry, it sounds like a beautiful home
It was sad but the house was simply too big and a lot of upkeep.
Like others here, I fantasized about moving in and then fixing my house up to sell, or renting to family, which would turn into a disaster. Either way, I would ultimately have to sell it, and I feel like the market could go down from here. Plus I'm exhausted from the last year of mom's life.
I know selling it is the right thing to do, and you said you need the money to place your mom, so you probably have to make the same decision. I'm trying to do what grandma1930 suggested and picture a young, happy family growing up there. It makes easier to let go. I wish you the best.
Know that anyone who can afford to buy the house appreciates it. They are buying because they like the history behind it. Probably will not change a thing and will love it.
When my aunt and uncle died. Mom rented out their home. It was a nightmare. The home had to be renovated before the house could be sold later.
If the home is registered as a landmark in the area, you cannot go to a big box store to purchase anything.
You have to go to an architectural supply shop to get authentic period replacements for anything that needs repairing.
But it is stuff and things, and what matters the most is your mom is being well taken care of and you will be able to find more peace in your life.
Just think how lucky you are to have the house for your moms aging and to be able to find a place that she will get the care she needs.
I can understand why you wouldn’t want to sell it. The upkeep will be expensive and you need the money, so I don’t think you really have any other choice but to sell it.
The memories will live in your heart forever. I know that isn’t what you want to hear right now. You would rather be able to hold onto the home itself.
At least, speak to an agent to see what it’s worth. Placing your mom is going to cost a lot of money. I think having peace of mind will make things easier for you in the long run.
I am sure that whoever purchases the house will cherish it. Are you living in the house now? Take photos to have to remember what you love most about the home.
I hope all goes well when your mom transitions into her facility.
Exactly this, it makes me happy that a local family with enough kids to fill the bedrooms moved into my childhood home, and I've heard though the grapevine they have undertaken some of those renovations I fantasized about 🙂
Nothing stays the same forever... as we age we all need to come to peace with this fact. Count your blessings that you were able to live in such a charming town and place. Many people don't even get to have that. If you take good pics, then you can publish a nice memory book from places like Shutterfly and Tiny Prints (to name a few). It can be like a coffee table book for conversation.
I had similar feelings as you do but eventually realized that selling their home was necessary and inevitable. It was a relief afterward.
Not only that, but I felt a healthy amount of anger that they’d left me with the tangle of belongings and junk and legal issues that I’d had to resolve, taking away more than 5 years of my life, enjoyment, and earning power. I didn’t deserve that. They should have dealt with their own issues while they still could. My resentment made it easy not to want to hang onto things that would bring them too much to mind.