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Benefits like Aid and Attendence cannot be applied for till 65 and then there has to be a health need. It also will not cover the cost of Memory care and cannot be used with Medicaid.
If needed, hire an independent social worker to help you.
When you fall through the financial cracks of the system, it is a sad reality that a person either needs to be dirt poor or have financial resources up to $10,000+++ a month. It is a travesty of our healthcare system in this country.
Fill out this form ASAP and turn it in now. chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.vba.va.gov/pubs/forms/VBA-21-0966-ARE.pdf
This form will start the clock on benefits the second it is logged in by the VA so drop it off personally if you can. If and when he gets benefits, they will date back to the date of this form.
Now Google VA "Veterans Service Organizations" to find out who in your area can help you apply for benefits for free. In Texas, every county has an office that handles this, they are extremely knowledgeable. There are many people who help with these benefits for pay but there are many who get that pay through grants so the Veteran doesn't have to pay for it, so look for a "grant-funded" one. It took us a few days to talk with one, then because we had already filed the "intent to file" form, his benefits were back-dated. We had to fill out and authorization form which they provided (Form 21-22) so they could help with benefits. I also recommend having him fill in a 21-22 showing that they can talk to you about his benefits.
Another resource is to have your husband evaluated for hospice. I know that no one likes to hear that word but I learned that home care from hospice doesn't mean the person is going to die in a matter of days. In your husband's case (and my dad's situation) the progressive disease won't improve. Hospice would set up services for 6 months. This service can be renewed another 6 months, etc.
Hospice will provide a team of a nurse/doctor, chaplain and social worker. There are additional services like music therapy, hygiene support (cutting finger nails and providing a shower/shave) One of the goals of hospice is to try to provide as many medical services at home even a swallow study with an x-ray. There goal is to keep the patient from spending all of one's remaining days in the hospital. I appreciated that! Hospice is paid through Medicare. There are NO COSTS for these services!
My dad did not qualify for VA nursing home. My understanding is that the disabilities to qualify had to come from service not old age.
It's a tough road! My caregiving phase lasted 2 years. Try to take some time for yourself. I wish you well on your journey.
A person doesn't have to have a diagnosis of dying to qualify for Hospice. My friend got Hospice.
IMPORTANT: Family needs to understand Hospice policy / intention of giving and how they give meditations - for comfort care and not to keep a person alive. They may not even treat sprains, falls, broken bones unless it is considered "comfort care."
If there is a VA medical facility or clinic near you, go talk with them. The Department of Veterans Affairs phone number is 800/827-1000. If there isn’t a VA near you, you can request a Field Service Officer for assistance. You could start with the Disabled American Veterans (DAV) at 877/426-2838 (www.DAV.org) or the America Legion at 800/433-3318 (Customer Service) or www.legion.org.
We got started on this journey with a Field Service Officer at the Armory in our hometown. He was SO helpful and knowledgeable.
It does take time and effort but it is worth it. Don’t give up. Gather whatever military records he may have including his DD214. It’ll be helpful as you talk to people.
Best of luck!
Have you considered seeing an elder law attorney about some ways you might do division of finances to protect yourself for that time you hubby does have to go into care? I don't want to see your funds disappear in his care before he can qualify for SOME governmental help. I think an elder law attorney might point you toward some options. You would be buying an expensive hour of time, but you would get some good information.
Good luck. Hope you will update us.
PS: if you cannot find his discharge papers go to the VA website, they make it fairly easy to obtain a replacement.
I won't lie - it is a myriad of twists and turns and you have to be diligent about it, you have to have the right information in hand, you have to stay on top of it. But if you do - the VA seems to actually have a number of excellent resources available - you just have to know what to ask for - they won't just open the firehose and say "here you go".
My FIL had so many benefits AT home that allowed him to stay home for at least 10 years longer than he probably would have otherwise. And when we did finally have to move him to a SNF - there was a bed available in a VA home about an hour away - where his service disability afforded him fully covered room/board until his death last year. Private pay was SIGNIFICANTLY discounted until his full disability benefits came through. He was incredibly blessed.
You may not get everything you need or want - but it is certainly worth the time and effort to look into it.
VA Medical care is not the greatest I've experienced. Trying to schedule an appt. takes 3-4 phone calls. Most VA Medical centers are in distant or inconvenient locations. Everything at a VA Medical center requires numerous forms.
Every state also has state sponsored VA Homes, expansive in size with different levels of care and amenities. California's state VA system is called "Cal Vet." The Dept. of Veterans Affairs (Federal VA) have "Community Living Facilities" that are generally near a VA Medical Center. They are kept secret, and require you to get a referral from a Federal VA Social Worker. The basic cost of a room in a VA managed care facility will be 60%-70% of his current income. Not all facilities have private rooms or bathrooms.
Find his Form DD214 before you start looking for places. Nothing can be done or arranged without it. The applications are dozens of pages and require copies of recent medical records, Primary doctor's notes, specialist medical notes, bank statements, property ownership/mortgage info, and prior tax returns. Admissions for Veterans with dementia will require a neurologist report, in order to place them.
Go to the www.VA.gov website for more information. Check your state's veteran facilities, which are usually nicer and have lots of amenities. Get started now, since the Wait List is terrible. He can keep his civilian doctors, but the VA requires their own doctors to check him out and interview him. Plus chest x-rays, TB tests, and all vaccines must be current.
Good Luck!
You can try the VA caregiver support line 1-855-260-3274 and see what information they can give you.