By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Jesus loves you, Jesus cares about you. He is just a prayer away. Joseph a son of Jehovah
I have lived a very challenging life and would never had made it without His help.
One of these things is a long binge of reading (sort of like the equivalent of streaming a whole season of tv shows at one time). And if you can cover up with a soft throw so you are warm and cozy, it works even better. I can stew and fret while watching tv or a movie, but not while reading.
The other thing that works is doing jigsaw puzzles. I get so involved in finding the next piece that I'm amazed how much time passes. And I'm also amazed at how much calmer my whole body feels.
And it's not just me that puzzles work for. Back when DH had aides coming into the home, one of the things they did was work on puzzles with him. They started with being resentful at doing them, and the next thing we knew they were showing off puzzles they had bought to do at home. And more than once an aide clocked out when her shift was over, and stayed so she could finish the puzzle they were working on!
Sorry this is so long, but one other thing that helps me is writing things out. I can type fast, so my fingers move too quickly to really censor myself, and sometimes after writing for a while I'll look at the computer screen and think--wow, where did that come from? And it's exactly what I need to know or understand or take care of right at that time. I recommend the book "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. She talks about the benefits of doing "morning pages", where you write about whatever comes to mind. She recommends three freehand pages every morning. But I've had good results on the computer. And I've found that if I do this every day for a couple of weeks, I feel much lighter, solutions to things start to appear, and my thinking is clearer.
When all else fails... Years ago, when I was first a caregiver, I went to a seminar where the speaker talked about going to his exercise class to help burn off stress from caregiving. He said one day he was so agitated that at certain really active parts of the class, he started yelling. And he said that in just a minute, the whole class was yelling right along with him! Sometimes quiet and peaceful just isn't enough.
I had cancer last year and am still recovering. My follow up treatment exhausts me for days afterward and I am forced to rest and sleep a lot for about a week.
I've learned to not overbook myself and to say 'no'.
I 'divorced' my toxic MIL. I will never speak to her again, and that is fine.
I'm estranged from my own mother as she is the worst trigger for my anxiety and depression. I see her only when I chose to and only for as long as I want.
I'm slowly dejunking our home in the hopes that DH will be more amenable to us moving to a 'retirement friendly' home.
I sleep when I am tired and don't try to be superwoman.
I'm prayerful and adhere to my religious beliefs.
I try to not let COVID and the nation's craziness affect me. (This is HARD!)
I finally got properly dxed with a mild heart condition--which I have been treating now for a week and already feel better---
I give service when I can but not to the point of exhaustion.
Realized through all this, I do way too much for others. And when you do things for someone who didn't want the help--they aren't grateful, nor should you expect them to be.
At age 64, I'm STILL trying to figure this all out!!
7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep,
3 nutritious meals that have the full complement of proteins, carbs, fat and vitamins,
about 2 liters of fluids - no caffeine - daily
some exercise that gets all the major muscles moving: walking. dancing, housework...
Try that for a week or 2. If you find that your still are having troubles, consider whether stress may be a problem.
Prayer, meditation, reading faith materials (I like the Bible) may help you feel connected with the Divine.
Make time for connections with other people daily. We all have differing needs for "me time" versus "we time." Consider trying to find your sweet spot on that metric.
Make time for play. Everybody needs to have fun things to do and look forward to. Try to incorporate a "Sabbath" - 1 day of the week to NOT work but spend in rest and recreation. Get a few additional hours snuck into the week to get more "R & R."
If a couple of weeks of basics and stress management don't change your energy levels, it is time to visit your doctor. Depression is the common cold of mental health issues. Also sneaky issues with hormones can also give you that "dragging feeling." I suggest start with a visit to a medical doctor whose practice is based on research and who keeps up to date. He/she can do a good physical and usually find root physical causes for your energy loss. He/She can also make a consult for good psychiatric care if mental health is a concern.
for you!
You must have time for you!
Good luck!
"If you're a giver always looking out for others, always feeling drained because you break yourself so others can stay together, take a break from it. Add self-love and peace to your life first."
For me, self-care means taking a break; going on a vacation or even a stay-cation where no phone visits with my mother are allowed. Taking a break means taking a mental break from the 24/7 mental stress that goes along with all of this, and THAT is what's hard to do. The only thing that gives my mind some well deserved rest is not talking or interacting with my mother at ALL for a few days or a week or two at a time. Before the plague hit, DH and I would go on a vacation to Europe for 2 weeks at a pop where there was NO contact with the real world. That was my only reprieve, honestly. Now that we don't have that opportunity, I believe DH and I 'are going away for the weekend' this coming Friday and won't be back till Monday, if you catch my drift.
Wishing you the best of luck trying to figure out how to take YOUR break from all of it.
See All Answers