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One day, while I was in her room and she in bed, she told me again that my dad was there at the foot of the bed. She pointed towards that direction and told me to look. I did and didn't see anyone, and I told her so. Then a moment later, I saw him, in the mirror, walking/floating out of the room through the window.
I just froze. I was so scared for the next 2 days. My mom pulled through and recovered. She stopped mentioning seeing my dad ever since.
Your mom, being in her current condition, may have visitors from the other side, hence your feeling of not being alone in the room. It would not surprise me.
Thank you for replying:)
I used to know when a loved one was close to the end - within hours - can’t explain it - just knew - however far away they were.
The presence you feel is actually quite a common experience too. They can be at any time, including before or even after a death and usually bring a kind of peace.
One time was very strange - a neighbour died as we had a coffee after a basic “computer lesson” I gave. His wife was in shock and I stayed until her son arrived. For about 3 days after, I kept smelling a pleasant smell that was reassuring every time it occurred . I suddenly realised that, whilst I’d never consciously noticed it when he was alive, it was the deceased husbands aroma and presence. Never had that with a non family member before.
Don’t worry, enjoy your time with your mum, she may improve, she might not - I treated each day as if it were the last anyway, with my parents. Main aim, outside caring, was to see how often each day I could make them laugh or at least smile.
Thinking of you,
About a week after this started, she was being assisted in the bathroom by a CNA who was very familiar with mom. She helped mom stand after toileting her and said "now grab the bar and I'll pull your pants up". Mom did not grab the bar. She fell and banged her head and broke her wrist.
She was taken to the hospital and fixed up, but she went into a rapid downward spiral and died about a week later.
A long winded way of saying that this may just be a decline, but be aware that the skills that you've counted on being there may suddenly not be.
And yes, I'd call in the EMTs for a look and then hospice if they dont find anything to treat, or if mom refuses.
YOU need the support of someone you can call 24/7 for advice. That's what hospice will give you.
Please don’t be afraid. Blessings be yours.
She is an old 76. She hasn't done much in years. She has always stayed in her room even before my father passed away, which he died 5 yrs ago. I think she started to give up on life yrs ago.
I know the Lord walks with me and He is here as I try to navigate through all this craziness and illness.
Thank you so much!
I know I always quite one of mom's geriatrics docs "If you're not going to do the treatment , then don't do the test". That applies to things like bone marrow biopsies. A relatively non invasive test like a blood or urine test, or even a mobile xray? I'd go for it
OP, please push forth with some basic, non-invasive testing.
I know when the time comes and I am done with the prodding and testing, I hope my children honor my wishes as you are honoring your mother's. tried to read all the posts but I didn't notice if you have called Hospice or not. if not, you might do that, they have given many comfort in these times.
And thank you for staying on the subject! ☺
Unfortunately, my mother has enough awarness that she knows what is going on most of the time. She fades in and out.
She has had 19 surgeries, beat cancer 3x, and she was in 2 really bad trucks accidents. She has suffer GERD and Acid Reflex most of her life.
In May 2016, she was in the hospital for 3 wks, for what I do not know. She made it clear to her than Dr to not tell me any information this was before I knew and before she was Dx with VaD. When she was release she told me that she will never go back into any hospital and that she was done. And she meant it!
I really had no intention to go into this whole Medical Thing...this was more about a feeling I have been having. About feeling like someone is in a room with me when I am alone. The feeling of something is about to happen!
The last I knew my mother and anybody else has the "right to refuse Tx." No Dr or EMTs can touch her that is consider an assault. She is not incapacitated therefore again no medical personnel can touch her. However, I am having a friend of mine who is a Dr come to the house to check on her if she will let him.
There was a thread posted not long ago about when do we as adult children not make our elderly parent seek Tx. If a LO who is more competent then not, we should not and can not drag them to a hospital or make them do a Tx they do not wish for. My mother has told me many times in her clear thinking that she is done with this life. She has a DNR, she does not want a feeding tube...no extreme measures taken. I fully understand that a blood work up and a urin test are noninvasive and I will see about getting that done. I did manage to give her a IV today 100ml and my Dr friend is bring me a few more saline bags when he comes to visit, but again she has the right to refuse Tx. Maybe he can talk her into having bloodwork done.
I will not force her into anything she does not want because I know she has been in and out of the hospital my whole life.
My mother is not afraid or in any pain at this point!
She did eat 3Tbp of ice cream and had some tea on and off today.
We will see what happens.
Again thank you for your comments.
I was afraid to put my mom on hospice care-because it sounds creepy-
But when i realized they can get things done at home-
& that they are trying to keep people out of the hospital-
I thought ok we'll try that approach.
You can call them, and nurses that live nearby, they show up to help You-
Your mom might agree to treatment if it's done in the comfort of her home-
They deliver drugs etc from their own pharmacy-
Just an afterthought -