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I'm looking for actual success stories, not just the usual tips about activities and diet etc. I want to know if these things have actually worked for anyone. I have a mother who sleeps all day and is active all night and it's wearing me out. She refuses to get up any earlier so it's hard to get her to do any activities during the day.

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My dad used to go to bed around 7 - 7.30pm.
Naturally, he would 'wake' around midnight and then be up every 2 hours or so, mostly just from restlessness and boredom. This was okay when he was relatively stable (although I questioned the efficacy, it was up to him), but now he is more dependent on assistance/supervision so I need my sleep!

In addition to reviewing his meds (reducing the superfluous, which GPs often overlook) and experimenting with dosage, I pushed his meal times later to around 7 - 8pm (usually a light meal for dinner, with lunch, the main, around 2pm, followed by a nap for an hour) which, after a good routine pre bed, meant he was all set by 9pm.

Melatonin works well but can leave residual 'hangovers', so watching out for this and being prepared to abstain as necessary can maintain its effectiveness in the long term (off too long and he starts to climb the walls during the day :().

Everyone is different, but once you find the balance it is possible to get a good nine hours a night (for yourself ;)) if at the cost of a bedding change in the morning - we can't have everything our own way!

Essentially, it all came down to mixing things around to see what fits instead of locking in any particular method (despite the good intentions from all concerned).
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cignal Jan 2022
thank you and yes, when she was independent it wasn't such a concern but now that she needs supervision pretty much all the time it means when she's up, i'm up. glad to hear it is possible. she is so stubborn i had my doubts.
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Reverse sleeping habits is common in elderly patients. There is no simple answer. Medication in elderly patients can have deleterious effect. No one in this forum is going to prescribe anything for her. You better bring this subject to her doctor.
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cignal Jan 2022
as i said in my post, i am not looking for any advice. i have already heard it all. i am asking if anyone has ever been successful in getting their loved one to sleep through the night.
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This is what has been working so far for me. I take care of 86-yr old mom with moderate dementia.

My mother loves to read. We are from India and she doesn't relate to any of the news here. So I print out lots of Indian language newspaper stories - mostly stupid movie gossip.

Mom also watches youtube. So in the morning, she will watch Indian documentaries, movies in the afternoon, then some religious stuff in the evening. I try to have some conversation about all this since nobody else visits us and we don't go anywhere with all the Omicron worries.

I give her a warm shower every other day and try to get her walking inside the house .

I think mom has forgotten about bedtime, she will keep reading till 11 pm and snoozing throughout the day. I have to nag her to put lights out at 11. She will sleep till 7am and that gives me a break.
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cignal Jan 2022
thank you that is good to hear that it does help.
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Here's a good article that outlines scientifically what you are experiencing with your LO.

https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/treatments/for-sleep-changes

In my experience the family LO for my 99-yr aunt with mod/adv dementia was giving her Tylenol PM and melatonin (and also the Tylenol made her very constipated). Eventually it stopped working. So we made sure she was physically active during the day: pedaling on a portable hand/foot exerciser for 15 min increments 2x a day; rolling to the mailbox in her walker or going to a ride around the block in her wheelchair during sundowning hours; asking her to fold a large pile of kitchen towels 2x per day; sorting colored poker chips; playing cards or a board game (her rules); coloring; and watching a "nice" movie with little to no stressful realism or storyline (like Disney movies or old-time musicals). We were able to get her completely off the Tylenol PM and melatonin and she sleeps through the night now more often than not -- still better than it was.

We wake her at 9am for dressing and breakfast and then the family caregiver comes and does all the other activities with her. She does have a nap after lunch from 1:30-ish to 3:30-ish. We pop in a DVD and after it ends she often starts to sundown, so we turn on all the lights where she hangs out (even if it's not very dark out) and then engage her in the other activities. She goes to bed around 9:30/10pm-ish. Keeping a strict routine seems to help her a lot. She gets VERY out of sorts when the routine is broken. I hope this helps!
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cignal Jan 2022
thank you this is the kind of thing i was looking to hear--whether all of these things have actually WORKED for anyone!
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