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That said, my cousin lives 3500 miles away from me in Staten Island in a 3 story home. I am an only child to a very difficult mother living in Memory Care Assisted Living with advanced dementia, incontinence and about 10 other issues too numerous to mention, at 94.5 years old. I've been handling/managing her entire life for the past 10 years, this time around, since I had to move my folks close to me in 2011 after dad had to quit driving. So now, my sainted cousin has been telling mom she would LOVE to have her come live with HER, that she will make up an in law apartment for her in her house! Her house with stairs. Mom is wheelchair bound, I forgot to mention. An inlaw apartment with a kitchen, which means mom would try to cook & burn the entire house down, with advanced dementia. Hello? What planet are we living on??? I have told my cousin 100x that mom has advanced dementia, has she not noticed when mom talks about 'riding the subway to come visit mama & papa' who have been dead for 36 years and 65 years respectively???? This cousin makes herself out to be The Good Guy and me out to be The Bad Guy b/c why oh why am I not taking in my Poor Sweet Wonderful Mother? Well, first off, b/c she's not sweet & wonderful and also b/c it requires an entire TEAM of care givers to care for the woman 24/7!!!!!!!!!!!! So every time mom says "Oh B would LOVE for me to come live with HER" I say, "Great, when is she coming to PICK YOU UP?" That's when the conversation comes to an abrupt halt & the subject is changed.
I truly hate people who love to instigate and make themselves out to be saints when it's all talk. And talk is cheap. Real life with these narcissistic mothers is something else that nobody understands or can empathize with unless they're stuck in the trenches themselves.
As you can see, your post hit a raw nerve with me. :)
Go ahead & BLOCK your daft cousin on FB and get some peace that way! Good luck!
I called mom and she sounded depressed. Are you sure that she's being taken care off.
I called mom and she said you wouldn't take her _______to get_____
I called mom and she said that you tested positive for Ebola.
I called mom and she said that you refuse to give her parakeet a birthday party.
Best advice for this. Ignore it or fight Passive Aggressive with Passive Aggressive.
My standard reply to stuff like you are getting on FB is "What a Weird thing to say"
I agree with the peeps on here - block her. If she persists, give it to her for reals. Tell her what your mom is really like. Nobody is perfect, and I don’t see anything wrong in this day in age with us letting family know how even your “sweet” mom is not perfect. Why the charade? To what end? Who are you really sparing?
Adults can have adult conversations.
Tell your cousin EXACTLY what I'm telling you right now.
That you are happy and appreciate that she has a loving and healthy relationship with your mother. Tell her that you and your siblings did not have this kind of experience with your mother. Let her know, without actually quoting your mother because you're not out to ruin their relationship, that she says terrible things about people (your cousin included) behind their backs and has for years.
If this doesn't quiet her social media storm, then tell her that she's more than welcome to have your mother come live with her and she can become her unpaid 24-hour caregiver.
Watch how fast this shuts her sanctimonious a$$ up.
I've unfollowed many people on FB and they have no idea ...
However, if she loves her aunt so much, maybe she'll volunteer to be her caregiver (sarcasm).
You have enough on your hands without having to deal with your cousin who is clueless about the situation.
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