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But even so, at some point, even that becomes too hard.
There are other things one can do for gifting, that make it easier..
It got ridiculous to try gifting to each family member---heck, it was ridiculous decades before elders needed to rearrange how they did things!
Too costly to afford, was what started it--not just that many gifts, but the postage/shipping!
We wanted gifts to make a beneficial difference in the World---something meaningful, helpful, positive.
Relatives pretty much had their needs met…why add to their piles of junk to get rid of?
And, it's a learning curve for young ones.
We found a number of worthy causes to donate to, in the name of each family household, instead of individual gifts.
Mom could sponsor this, if she is financially able and wants to
---you could help her do it all online, even
---once it's figured what to donate to, have those in your bookmarks, it's a snap.
---a small bank account that has a debit card, used -only- for online buying, is a safety measure---that account only holds amounts needed to cover purchases made. That way, if someone rips it off, they can't get much, if anything.
It took us several years to discover a handful of great, boot-strapping, worthy causes, such as:
== Meal baskets for impoverished Native families, or,
==The Heifer Project, which offers various size "gifts" of farm animals for 3rd world country families; or,
==Light Up The World, which helps villages bring solar lighting packages and industry to make these, into villages in 3rd World Countries; these small systems prevent burns from expensive kerosene lamps, increase household incomes by allowing people to stay up after dark to work on studies, income-generating work, etc.
To name a few.
OR, one can find local charitable programs.
By donating locally, one can help those in need, closer to home.
These charitable groups are easier to check out / verify--& even see results yourselves.
It could become a treasured game to see what each family can find each year--once we got the ball rolling, other family households jumped on the bandwagon to see what they could find, too--it's always a fun surprise!
Charitable organizations don't care how large/small a gift is--there's a broad range of suggested gift levels--or write in your own.
There is often a card given to let the receiver know what was gifted in their name.
BUT, for some of these, WE made cards, letting the receiver know we donated towards a worthy cause in their name
---we told them:
=== the name of the Organization
===what they do for who, how--we become small-time ambassadors for the charitable causes.
We didn't list the amount, as it was often embarrassingly small--but a gift, even so.
This allows "saving face" by gifting even small amounts, yet, doing it so "everybody wins".
No fuel, stress or frustration was spent, to "go shopping"
Alternatively:
==="Pulling a name out of the hat" instead of gifting each person--the larger the family gets, the harder that is. But, the whole family needs to participate on that, because if some don't, it feels bad for those who only gift to the named person.
===OR restricting to gifting to the youngest children;
===OR, special gift to one or a few, who really need help with something.
===OR, restricting gifts to small, useful things--like containers of nuts & fruits per household.
Families should visit the elder who is gifting to them, or who they are gifting to, if possible. Kids need to get a concept: they need to make a relational contact--the gift should be relegated to being an unexpected perk.
A personal visit or phone call is a gift that costs little or nothing but transportation… ...smiles, kind words, pleasant conversations & hugs are a gift--yet are free.
Be careful to prevent Mom giving away assets if Medicaid is an issue, or might be anytime in 5 years from date of gift--that's the usual "look-back" period.
gift giving by the caregiving child.
I did the gift giving my dad had established through his 93rd yr but really it didn't make sense. He wanted to continue but guess who had to factor in
gift giving, running to the bank for funds on top of caring for him and decorating the house which he did enjoy. He loved Christmas. He had enough money to give the gifts so I did comply but it was an added burden which took up much need time.
Perhaps a compromise, give nice Hallmark Christmas cards and small gift certificates to some place nearby?? Do whatever you can to keep it simple.
Being a caregiver, your time is so important you can't afford to run from store to store--continue some shopping online with direct delivery to the gifted person. (You can't be standing in post office lines while running up a home health aide bill on the home front).
I purchase gift card and place it in a Christmas card saying its from us and my mom. it feels good for them to give to the children. keep it simple.
Equinox
If she wants to and can afford it, maybe sitting down with her at a computer and shopping at someplace that has a huge variety of things, such as Amazon, would allow her to participate in picking things out.
If she needs to cut back but still wants to do something, maybe she could give everyone -- adults and kids -- a silly pair of holiday socks, or each household a nice calendar.
If gift-giving really is no longer practical, stopping cold-turkey is perfectly acceptable.