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They get lonely and sometimes even abusive to you, the person they trust, because they are so frustrated with their losses and their situation in general. You are doing everything right. If she gets too nasty, stand up to her and tell her you are leaving since she is treating you badly and that you hope she will treat you better next time you visit.
The nursing home where my parents were had to practically force me to understand that, but it worked. If you know she is well cared for, you can skip some visits if she needs that to understand she can't be mean to you. It's amazing what they can understand when you stand up for yourself.
Take care (of you, too),
Carol
Rabbi Scott B. Saulson, PhD
The staff at the nursing home tell me she is active and seems happy there. I go at least once a week to visit. There are some volunteers that go and read to them and visit and help with a huge slate of activities . Mother has one friend who comes to see her 2 times a week and I have told the friend how much it means to me. My brother and sister will not take her back to live with them and they live back East. We are in Texas. ( they already tried having her live with them and it didn't work out either). Its hard to be the only one to have to say no, but as long as you are able to monitor her care and pop in occasionally, it is good to let the staff do their job. Keep your visits random. That helps too.
Linda
I am extremly saddened by what I cannot give my Mother.
I took care of her for 10 years and miss her and I feel no quilt about what I did for her, just very sad that I'm not able to keep doing.
She is in a very nice NH in a small town in MI. and I know they take very good care of her, thank you for the hug.