By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
But it does occur to me that your husband, if he wants, could go after the individual owners of the facility - I'm assuming it wasn't a chain, but an individual company, with noncorporate owners? How long ago did this occur?
It would bring back the unpleasant memories, and you'd probably need to hire an attorney, but it might be possible to sue the owners, in part for breach of their fiduciary obligation to ensure proper care.
One step you could take though is to try to search online corporate records to find out who the owners were, their states of residence, and write explanatory and complaining letters to the state board that monitors nursing facilities. Same with Medicare and Medicaid; they should know about sub-par facilities.
It is a lot of work though, and probably would be emotionally painful, so that has to be weighed into consideration of pursuing this any further. I would at least though try to notify state and federal officials - that might prevent these shysters from getting involved in any further care.
I would like to ask you the circumstances that occurred which causes you to blame the care facility.
It is sadly often a fact that we tend to paralyze ourselves to prevent ourselves from going forward into grieving process because we see it as so unsurmountable. One way we do that is to blame another entity. Our minds suggest to us then that death can be prevented. The truth is, for our suffering elders, they are on the path to death, and we are on a path to loss. When we feel guilt we are stuck in thinking that things might have been prevented. When we enter grief we acknowledge that loss must be faced.
Our thinking forms pathways in our brains that become habitual. We follow them in a hopeless circular manner. One way to exit this circle of pain is to begin at least for some periods of time to CELEBRATE our loved one. Make a scrapbook of pictures of your mom, collage things she loved. Write in your memories of her, what she taught you, even notes to her. This is going to give your mind a bit of relief from the circular pain that has you paralyzed.
Do consider also that grieving is as individual a thing as our own fingerprint. You may grieve a longer or short period of time. You may need the help of a counselor from your church or professional Social Worker who deals with life passages or a psychologist.
Again, I am dreadfully sorry for your pain.
You say that you pray and pray and nothing gets better. I would encourage you to remember that when we belong to Jesus that HE knows the number of our hairs and our lives are in HIS keeping. She went home because it was her time. Otherwise nothing could have taken her life.
Please try to envision her living the promises that all believers have, no more sorrow, no more pain, no more goodbyes. Transformed from an old broken body to a young vibrant woman spending her days worshipping The Saviour.
May God grant you grieving mercies and peace during this difficult time.
Great big warm hug!
Why do you think the NH caused your LO's death?
Gather your thoughts and come back and tell us the details.
I'm sorry you're suffering.