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Before giving her medication for depression, try making sure that she is not deficient in any vitamins or minerals which can account for depression. Not getting any sunlight or Vit D will do that too. The longer she remains inactive the sooner she will lose to the ability to be active at all. The Area Agency on Aging where I live has volunteers, who visit the elderly called "Caring Circles" They may clean for them or help them shop or play cards, just about whatever the housebound person wants. Just a thought. Also, I just posted a question of my own concerning my mother's square dance club...
My 89-year-old mother lives in SE Portland and belongs to a square dance club that meets once a week, sometimes more, they also give lessons, in Milwaukie, OR. The dancing is really not that physically demanding because they slide their feet most of the time. It might be taxing at first for someone new to it. Only you and your Grandmother would know if she is physically capable of this, but the 25 to 30 other octogenarians in this square dance club have kept relatively healthy and fit and I think that is due more to the camaraderie than anything else. But, my Mom does like to square dance. Always has. It's kinda perky music.
I don't know if it is appropriate to share telephone numbers, but I will find out. I thought if you discussed this with her and the two of you thought it might be something she would at least like to check out, that I could put you guys together with my Mom, the secretary of the Square Dance Club, which for the life of me, I can't remember the name at the moment.
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The only thing you can do with an aged inactive person is leave them be. Join in on the dog walk but don't push anything else. You will only encounter resistance and that leads to quarrelling. Just take care there are not too many meds prescribed.
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I've kept working, partly to keep busy. After my husband passed in 2004, I had the TV on in the house almost all the time I was at home just to have the sound in the house. After about a year, I had a friend move into the house with and then when the TV died we didn't bother to replace it. Since then I rarely watch TV; the last four years I have been living with a daughter and her husband has it on when he's home. But then, I did get into computers, and between that, work, church activities, and reading, the TV is something I could live without.Different people have different interests and energy levels.
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I read this kind of letter here quite often. A young person is concerned about an elder who 'doesn't do anything' - no walking, socializing, square dancing, community college courses, volunteering. Leading a quiet sedentary life, watching tv all the time.....Look, with age comes slowing down, physical problems, and yes, depression. I notice in myself a change, it's hard to 'get up and do something' sometimes. There may be various remedies, like 'more vitamins!' 'Join clubs!' 'Hang out at church socials!' But a lot of elderly, their friends are gone or disabled, their families are far-flung or estranged, their neighborhoods are changing (in my town, all the 'olds' are dying off and the houses being rented out by the offspring, cheap, to any number of sketchy sorts - my father literally would not recognize his old neighborhood now if he was still alive!).....I think LW is kind to worry about grandma, but other than offering to walk with her or take her places - the library, for a meal out, to a movie, or a baseball game - if she doesn't want to go, it could be just her baseline personality.....The real go-getters in life, the energetic, the extroverts, the busybodies, the people who used to run the committees, oversee employees, run the PTO and booster clubs, who used to travel, go skiing, play sportsball, were involved in 101 things.....those are the senior citizens who are currently being more of what LW wishes grandma was. Those senior citizens find it hard to sit home, sedentary, watching tv - they are wired to get up, get going even if they have ailments. They find a way. Every retired volunteer I've ever met, the ones at the reception desk at the hospital, the hospital gift shop, the ones visiting patients and delivering magazines and flowers (like candy stripers used to) to the rooms has been like that. Live wires who are only happy to keep on going.....You can't really nag or worry about elders who are the opposite. It's the way they are. They could be introverts who don't like noise and dealing with people. They can no more be changed than you can tell 'a live wire' taking the bus 20 miles a day to volunteer at a nursing home that they should 'quit and stay home watching Judge Judy' all day, that would annoy them immensely. It's the way they are....   I don't think one type is superior to another type, just my opinion.  All my life I've been a quiet introvert who loves to read.  If someone asked me to plan their wedding or take up water-skiing, they would be barking up the wrong tree.     Conversely, my go-getter relative on a vacation simply can't sit on a beach looking at the waves, he has to be sky-diving, hiking, deep sea fishing, or riding a zip line over a canyon!
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My mom was one to run around town, taking care of grandkids, get out of the house and do things type person. Before her Stroke happened. Hospital let her go home. She walked into her house. Made it home after 2 day hospital stay. Fell again. A year and a half ago, she was a different person. Rehab and Home Health and our family tried to get her up and walking again, but she just didn’t or couldn’t do it. We would basically try to drag her across the room, trying to get her motivated to walk. PT cut her off as failure to improve by insurance. We tried ourselves a little while longer, but her left side is just not coming back. She just wants us to leave her alone and stop pushing her to do things. She fights me even on baths. Now we get her out for doctors appointments, hair or nail appointments, or lunch or dinner out maybe once a week. She really has no desire to get her left side going or moving again. She had diabetes, high blood pressure/and some mental health issues she is now stabilized and living with us along with step/dad/inlaw, Who is alcoholic, smoker, and multiple other internal stomach/back issues who constantly has to be taken to VA/ Drs appointments weekly. He hacks, coughs, all night. They are only 64 and 62 respectively. I know this is young. We see people older moving around, cooking, walking, etc. 3 out of 4 of my husbands and my parents, are disabled and only in their 60s. My own father had a stroke, several years ago, lives with his mother further away, but he can walk with walker, but his mom at 89, still cooks for both of them. All he does is watch Tv, now. They prefer not to really go anywhere. Other than necessary appointments . Bathing is a fight, so we compromise. Just do the best we can. To me I’ve learned taking care of my mom, to make it less stressful, as she is not going to get better, unless she wants to, to just let her watch TV. It’s hard for my younger sisters to understand sometimes, but they don’t live with her and see her everyday. Their kids are all younger. My boys are pretty much grown up. We take Stepdad in for his VA treatment and it so crowded in the hospitals sometimes they have no beds available. My mom did not want to be at Rehab. She fell out of bed trying to get up and leave. She had been refusing meds and food, because it was hard for her to swallow. We ended up putting a feeding tube in her to get her meds in her. I told her if she wants to come home, she needs to take her meds and be able to swallow food. So she allowed the feeding tube, we got her eating, and complying with taking the meds. It’s hard watching a person who was so active become inactive, but at some point we just have to accept what they are now. If you haveNetflix, I recommend the episode San Junipero from Black Mirror. If only our medical system could be better. I just look at it, as at least we still have them, for now, as I have seen a couple people in their 50s - a neighbor mom of one of our boys’ HS friends and a cousin of my mom’s pass away this past month. Sorry to ramble, but the point is maybe just accept hercondition and let her watch the TV if it makes her happy. There is a whole world of channels to teleport, learn and entertain. Sometimes when people are alone, I’ve found out they just like the noise, too.
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With today's technology, get her a tablet (on sale $29) 7inch. Set it up so she can IM friends / family and see them. This may pick up her spirits. Home Phone, get rid of and get her Magic Jack to feed off the internet and can still use a cordless landline with the base plugged into the modem. Get her the internet and a smart tv or the roku stick ($29) to feed off the internet. There are soooo many educational videos on Youtube and she can watch on TV. I got rid of cable and we have Netflix and Amazon ($20 a month) in addition to all the free streaming channels. Mom has a better quality of life and I can breathe.
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