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Is it possible for you to swipe the ashes and keep them for a more dignified and private shattering?
there are laws about spreading ashes.
The Park Ranger knocked at our door one day, came to teach us how to do trail maintnance, learning about berms, etc. He said to bring the cremains of our dog we had been keeping, not knowing what to do with them.
There in the beautiful redwoods, just off the trails, my Lily-dog was released with a thank you prayer to God for her time on this earth.
On a different note, a very close friend of mine just passed away after a long battle with Pancreatic Cancer, and it was her desire to have little bits her ashes put into tiny blue envelopes with her name in them, that were given out to all her friends and family at her memorial service, with the instructions to spread her ashes in all the beautiful places her friends visited over the course of the next year, as she was a very adventurous spirit. Some people spread them, and others just left the envelope and took a beautiful picture of it in a beautiful place.
My friends Facebook page has been kept open, and folks have been posting the pictures and their tributes to this special lady, and reading all the stories has really warmed my heart.
I think it's a lovely way to honor her, and truly shows the Love and Respect that everyone had for her.
I just wanted to share that with you, as doing something like this might be a way folks could do something in their own way, and it would take the pressure off of you, and then they could celebrate your Mom as they see fit, that is if you believe that they would do so, and then you could do your own memorial and tribute your way with your part of your Mom's ashes.
Please remember, your Mom is now gone, and her ashes are but a small piece of what remains. Your memories are your own, and you will always hold them close to your heart. Honor her in a way that makes sense for you, and if you have to share them with other relatives, then let them honor her in their own way too. Still, I don't think it is unreasonable for you to request that they be respectful and and that stupid comments about "dispensing" her ashes in such a rude manner be stopped. No one wants to hear such trashy talk when they have only just lost their beloved Mother. If they are that rude and childish, I would be hesitant to give them any part of my Mom's ashes also!
I'm sorry they are behaving so badly, and I hope you find a good solution. Take Care of yourself! Hugs!
Eta. This may sound creepy. But 3 years ago my best doggie ever died. He worshipped his grandma and she, him. I am sending him too with her. Stay with grandma. He will, too. He loved that woman. Adored her.
I may need a puppy after all this over (my brother just passed). Happiness is puppy breath.
Hang in there, Sego! You don’t have to decide yet. Take a week or two to just relax...
No one has a right to say that to you, especially at this time. Do with her ashes what you feel in your heart is respectful. And right now you don’t really have to decide anything. It’s too fresh.
My brother died June 8. I’m in no shape to make major decisions as his death was unexpected.
She was your mother & what is done with her ashes should be either what your mom designated or what your sister & you decide.
Don’t let anyone bully you.
Grieving is so hard. I hope your days get better.
My Aunt's ashes were supposed to be gently dispensed in a beautiful garden she had chosen.
The reality was we weren't 100% sure it was the right garden, the bag looked suspicious so I think it did end up being a plastic bag with holes. The wind was an issue too.
NOT how we wanted & left feeling very flat.
My Dad choose to go home & plant a tree or bush instead.
My sil has a piece of jewellery made with some ashes in fir her Dad.
I'd say, overwrite that bad memory & make a special memory/remembrance for yourself - your way