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Some assisted living centers offer more help than others (in the contract). But hired -in-home services provide a lot of care in many centers. Yes, it costs more, but it can help a lot. How much can your MIL do with provided transportation? A lot depends on what shape she is in.
The bottom line is that this is wearing you down. You need to insist that your husband brainstorm with you to find out how to best provide care without draining yourself of your own life.
It feels good to give and help and care. But for everyone, there is a point when the care for one person prevents good care for another. Balance is needed and is often very hard to find. But do try.
Keep coming back. You'll get lots of support from people who've been there.
Carol
Norene
Call a family meeting. If people can't be there is person, then have them call in. Get a speaker phone. Have an agenda with everything that "mom" needs done. As time goes on, your mother-in-law will require even more assistance, not less.
Have a plan for an Assisted Care facility or at least check around to find out what they cost, if mom can afford it, etc.
Caring for an elderly parent is a family affair not the sole responsibility of the most responsible family member. If the daughter can not be there to help in person, then she can send money for respite care.
Most of us don't judge. We don't know what is going on in your life. If no one else can help, hire someone to lighten the load. Get your husband to pitch in, but don't feel down about your feelings. We have all been there. Some of us just forget what it is like, especially in the beginning when this whole caregiver thing is so new to us. Good luck
Linda