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Fairydusty good for you for being there and knowing what she needs. You will never regret that you did your very best with loving care to your mom. They will have to reep the regret consequences in the end. Instead of being angry...pray for them. Give your requests to God and let him take care of the rest. Release and let go. Find some thing else to focus your energy on. I have kept a journal to help me and let go of the frustration of this whole journey. It will be a great tool to have to see what you did for her and what they did not.
It is kind of like finding out there is no Santa, isn't it? Something you thought was true and that you were glad was true turns out not to be true (at least not in the literal sense you naively believed).
Being bitter or resentful or angry because other people aren't exactly who you believed they were is kind of a waste of energy, don't you think? It doesn't change their behavior but it takes up emotional brainpower you could be using on other things.
Maybe if these people aren't coming through for you as you expected they could still be called upon for smaller contributions. It is worth a try. Get the help you need, if not from family, from other resources. What would you do if you had no family? Figuring that out might be a better use of your energy.
Did or have you lived with someone as their sole caregiver? As long as I was not having to live with mom and my disabled broher, I too could let things go a lot easier. Just wondering. I am living here in the middle of the war on the front line alone and yes "the words do harm" me. Don't mean to be rude or anything. I feel most of the time that I am a bad person as caregiver anyway.
No matter what happens you have the satisfaction knowing you we're there with and for her in the end. So you will not have regrets. But I'm sure they will..so maybe just put that little bug in their ear. But whatever they choose to do about it is totally up to them and out of your hands. So do what you can for her and you. Hopefully they will see what's important. I'll be praying for you. You are obviously a very kind and caring person. You will be blessed for what you are doing.
I listened, I changed the way I let them affect me the very next day and WOW, what a pleasure to not let anyone control my reactions.
I recently told my MIL: "you do not have the power to bring me down to that level, you may call me when you have calmed yourself". It feels good to take the power of negativity away from others.....Good Luck and Bless You.
Coulditbeme, you are a very brave and bold soul indeed to be caregiving in your situation with your mother apparently not appreciating what you are giving her and your siblings right there. I just don't get people sometimes. Jessiebelle is right caregivers are special people.
I do so understand your question. My brother and sister never enter the door except when they want or need something . The worst of it is that they neither one live off the "family" farm. Very close walking distance. They never ever call mom. I don't expect them to call me. I am invisible and have been for a long time.I have been so distressed with this situation and much more that it was taking a toll on my mental and physical health. ONE thing you do not want is for your health to diminish. Believe me your family members will not be there for you either.
Oh well, I am the eldest of 4. I take care of mom 74 and my disabled brother 44.
Mom, didn't beg me to stay with her. This is the part of what she said, "Since none of the kids will take care of me, I guess you are it".
JessieBelle was exactly right on her thread to you. Share your thoughts, ideas and whatever with us/me anytime.
Blessings and prayers to you.