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Yiu note you are "Retired RN with 10 year experience in Hospice care and previously care of the severely disabled."
Your suggestion is flawed:
{Q}Tie a rope to each of her ankles and attach them to pullys in the ceiling and have your son and son in law haul on the ends till her massive butt is off the bed
Tie the rope around her neck not her ankles.
It is so difficult to maintain a sense of humor. I can hear the screams of protest ...
enough enough? Does anyone have a good remedy for the odor on the bedding?
What do you do if you can't change the depends? Where do you turn for help?
Do they have an underlying depression that needs to be addressed?
Sorry Ohdear i know you meant to be helpful but most posters beyond help!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she will be too shocked she won't have the chance to swing at you and for a change YOU can have a smirk on your face.
You have been a very giving person to care for your husbands mother but unless she is very close to death maybe now is the time to consider a nursing home. You know her and your strengths so discuss it with your hospice nurse and do what is right for you. Talk to your son and son in law too they are a rare breed in this world and a blessing to you in their willingness to help with MIL it can't be something they look forward to. You can be very proud of them. I hope you can find a solution to all this. It is so much worse with the violence too. Perhaps a large hammer would be the solution!!!!!!!
The rejection and hateful things my MIL says to me would be categorized as serious verbal abuse. It is easy to say "don't let it bother you." But that's tough when the comments are so personal. (And when I am ducking to avoid a punch) I'm looking to sedating meds at this time.
Marialake - not possible to change a bedridden without turning. Even if you invent a mechanical sling, you will end up breaking her back bone from lifting on that hoist if you only lift the back and NOT the butt - which defeats the purpose since you need to clean her butt in the first place.
You may need to figure out why she no longer wants to get out of bed. Why she doesn't want to turn on her sides. Is she hurting somewhere? Worse case scenario, wait for hubby to come home so that he talk her into turning?