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Meanwhile, I am sending prayers up so that blessings will come down. It;s a hard road to travel...and it's easy to be angry! I know how you feel and so do so many others on this message board! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Sorry to ramble, Maggiesue. It does make everyone feel slightly better knowing that we are not alone, but it certainly doesn't solve the horrible situations that we are in..
Have a lovely evening and keep your chin up!
I have to admit though, it was a decade at least before I could go into a nursing home again.
Grateful for these Caregiver Connections.. remember your friends and your family (those that care!) and move on the best that you can.... don't forget to take care of you..
As for the CAREGIVEE's negative comments and criticism, let it roll off the back the best way that you know how. The verbal abuse stinks... now my dad has got it into his head that he wants us to go out and eat! He's not been out of his nursing home since he got there and has one visit from his bro and wife... if they want to take him, more power to them... I can't move the man! He can't walk, he uses depends, and my stomach churns at the thought of our last meal together. I tried to eat Thanksgiving with him in his room - and I won't do it again.. he won't eat in the cafeteria with the droolers.. well, let's just say he needs a bib as well.
Because her behavior has been a lifetime of complaining, demanding and being mean, when she takes the Lexapro, she doesn't know who she is and it scares her. Once she started losing cognitive and social skills she now has nothing left except the witchy personality.
I am getting old and trying to decide how and where I want to spend my final years. I go on Medicare at the end of this year. It's hard to believe that I have this horrid burden to drag around behind me as I get closer and closer to my own death. I too, Dede, have wondered why the evil persist and those with goodness in their hearts are taken by death and disease.
My whole relationship with God has changed in the last 7 years while caring for my mother. I just don't have belief in spirit anymore. At my time of life I'm supposed to have some wisdom, but I feel like a burned out jerk.
Chin up to all of us! You can only understand what being a caregiver is when you are one!
I am trying to say - this is life! We are cheating ourselves and our parents if we give in to the depression and anger. Let's take it 5 minutes at a time and it is then something we can deal with.
With your Mom in the nursing home it sounds like your father needs to be there as well, no matter what you have to tell him to get him there. You, as the caregiver, have done all you can. You do need your life back - or you will loose it. My doctor said I was becoming sicker than my mom. You can give it all to them if you're not careful. And, yes they can become mean and hateful and that is even more reason to have them placed. You don't need the stress. You say you feel your BP go up just to go pick him up. That is exactly what is happening.
It is a cycle of sorts - and very frustrating!
On to my m-i-l. She lives with us, because she's a fall risk and can't live by herself any longer. She's been living here since the end of September, 2008. She is now 78 yrs. old & has Alzheimer's (AD). Some days, she is pleasant. Some days, she doesn't know which end is up.
My situation is this: My oldest s-i-l only takes her for 2-4 hours/week. The second oldest s-i-l, is DPOA, and takes her o/n at least once/week or every other week. She's also a nurse. The third oldest s-i-l, only sees her 2-4 hours/month.
My husband is the only son and he is unemployed right now, so he helps out with her when he isn't looking for a job. My youngest s-i-l comes over and helps her take a shower. I am glad for any help, but #1, 3, & 5 don't take her o/n EVER. I feel like I don't have a life anymore. I feel like my husband & I don't have a life anymore.