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Many of the parents of people in this group would be incompetent if living alone. But since they have help they are able to do things they need to. The only people realizing how bad it is are the caregivers. I guess you could say we are the competence of our parents.
If you can't walk, then you don't have the necessary skills to get around the house assuming no wheelchair or other device is used.
Is this enough reason to have the ability to force her to go to an assisted living facility?
By the way, I am considered her caregiver. Anytime social security sends us a letter my name is on it.
I think you need to go on vacation and force mom to do something else.
But you can decide what you are willing to do. If it is not running to Mom's to help with menial tasks, she can't make you do it! And indeed, why should she want AL when she can have Daughter Assisted Living?
Something that might be good for all of you is to have In-Home Assisted Living. That is, hire the menial tasks done. Also any special-skill tasks. She should certainly have a cleaning service. She could hire a companion, someone to take her grocery shopping. If/when she needs it. a visiting nurse could be arranged. How about meals on wheels? My own mother was able to continue living in her apartment four or five years longer with these kinds of services.
Mother objected to getting these services. She told the social worker "my daughters do these things." But the daughters spoke up and said "when we visit you, Ma, we want to play cribbage and gossip and remember old times. We do not want to spend the time cleaning your toilet!"
If you could use your limited time to do daughterly things that improve the quality of Mom's life (and your lives!), and Mom could hire the menial tasks done, that might be almost as good as assisted living from your perspective and better from hers.