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Since you are living in your Mom's house, you should NOT be paying for things that she should be paying. That is her responsibly as a homeowner. If Mom can no longer afford the upkeep of the house, it is time to downsize into something more affordable. I know that isn't easy convincing an elder it is time to downsize.
You need to build up your retirement. Not working full time and being a non-paid caregiver you are losing around $350,000 in salary over the course of time... losing company offered paid benefits like health insurance, life insurance, profit sharing, matching contributions to a 401(k), paid vacation days, paid sick days, and funds placed into Social Security and Medicare, etc.
Please note, if your Mom needs to use Medicaid down the road. After Mom passes, Medicaid can put a lien on the house, and once the house sells, Medicaid will reimburse itself the cost of your Mom's care.
Time to speak with an "Elder Law Attorney" to see what would be the best path to take regarding your Mom, the house, and Medicaid [if needed]. Some States will allow the house to remain in the family depending on how long a grown child have been a full-time caregiver for that parent. Thus, you have been saving the State a lot of money caring for Mom yourself.
That sure sounds good to me as I have to manage all the upkeep around here one way or another and I can’t even find help for the yard work come summer.
However, not only does mom want to live at home, she wants to leave the home to us as our only inheritance, especially for me. She just doesn’t see what a burden it is. How could she see? She barely walks from her room to her recliner a couple times a day.
We have family all around us but no real help, not many good visits either. Sometimes that’s best imo.
Charlotte
This woman was being cared for by her only daughter until the daughter died of brain cancer.
The daughter left her mother under her best friend’s care when she knew she was dieing.
The friend reluctantly took over the care but tired of it quickly.
She announced suddenly that the aged woman had been placed in a home, moved her own daughter into the house and sold the other assets. Thereby the caretakers were no longer needed and failed to compensate them for the last month of services.
My friend filed a complaint with the labor board for lost wages and attempted to get pay she’d not been collecting for the long hours, as she felt the agreement they’d made regarding pay structure was broken by the sudden dismissal.
The labor board sided with the provider and the only explanation was “they don’t compute caregivers pay like regular workers, based on hours of work.” (ie: when you’re sleeping.) I find this very confusing.
We live in California.
Charlotte