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Bringing him home is for you, not him, and it won't go well, I'm sorry to say.
Be comforted knowing that he is in a safe place and well cared for.
Go and visit him where he is. Whether others will be there having a celebration with you at his place or if it is just the two of you, it’s going to be okay.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Dementia patients live in the now. Don’t even bring up other Thanksgivings or family unless he does. Your job is to join him in his reality, not to impose yours on him.
Good luck.
It is no longer about what you like or dislike, it is about what is best for him.
Sending support your way.
And if you'd still like to have your family to your house on Thanksgiving you still can and then perhaps take some of the left overs to him the next day and celebrate with him since he won't know the difference.
It's has to be heartbreaking, but you must do what is best for your husband at this point as to not upset him.
Best wishes in making the right decision.
There are options, depending on the answers. For example, if he won’t realise it’s the day, you could bring a plate the next day and tell him all about it – which might be better than him actually attending. If you are fairly free on the day, you could go to see him at some time (lunch or tea) but still take part in the family celebration. If you are on your own, taking a plate to the facility could be good. If you are hosting the family celebration, forget the whole idea!
Taking him to a place where he used to live will potentially be a jolt no matter whether his adjustment to his new life was originally peaceful or difficult.
Before Covid, my LO’s residence welcomed and encouraged family to join their residents for dinner on special holidays. Have you checked to find out if anything like that is planned where he’s living now?
Hard for you, because you have your memories of him during other Thanksgivings at home, but probably less hard for him in the (now) familiar surroundings of the structured setting he’s in now.
If you can join him there, hope your day is peaceful and as pleasant as possible.