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Good luck,
Carol
How did he not get placed for recovery?
Services which we've been hoping for. So now I have to find someone on my own and didn't know where to start. Thanks for the helpful comments.
Home Health came in but that was pretty lame. Lift this leg, lift this are,
etc.... they determined he could not live with alone himself even after I felt he could. (my dad was only 75)
Fortunately my dad was a Veteran (only in for 2 years in 1950s) and qualified for the VA home which takes residents and nursing patients.
My dad was on a waiting list for about a month and then went into the VA nursing home. I would have prefered he stayed at his own home but I guess he was not "safe" He sure is not happy now but he is "safe"
I don't know which is worse.
But is your dad a veteran? Get him on a waiting list for a VA Home. They are usually better than regular nursing homes.
He is having symptoms of dementia and some hallucinations and just recently practically quit talking or even opening his eyes. He will respond with short sentences. His short and long term memory are fine but he has so many medications and the nursing home doctor put him on so many more that we do not know what is going on with him. Now he has diabete foot sores and one is VERY bad so he has been off his feet for 4 months and now they are wheeling him around like a baby.
He is about to just give up and he is only 76 going on 77.
I keep trying to "save" him but something else happens.
I am so glad your dad will use e-mail. I see lots of guys at the VA home using the computers and I am so happy for them. My dad had a roommate that had his own computer in his room and I could e-mail him to check on dad or to give dad a message.... but they had a falling out and dad had to change rooms.
You should be able to get your dad's doctor to OK medicare to pay for a HOME HEALTH Social Worker. When my dad was on Home Health he had an O.T> a P.T. and a nurse and he was okayed for a nurse aide but he would not use her so I did everything in that area (except give him a bath)
When they said they did not feel he could live alone they assigned him a social worker. She was the only Home Health person worth the Medicare money. She talked to dad about nursing homes and other options. She talked to him about ME and my living there with him away from my own home.
She did what she could to help him live alone and left it up to him. When he decided he did want to move to a nursing home she told us what to do and helped us do it. She got the people from the state Blind to come and give him tools and talk to him about his continuing loss of sight.
And if we had decided NO on a nursing home I am sure she would have help us get daycare or respite.
So maybe you can get your doctor to OK a Home Health Social Worker and if you get a crappy one ask for a different one those HH people are paid a LOT of money for very little work sometimes. The Aides are the ones who really work.
Try to get a HH Social Worker to advise you and get you the help you need. Your dad is 98 and your doctor will surely OK a HH Social Worker.
I stayed with dad for several months trying to get him in shape to stay home after a stroke and he did well but he lost his iniative and wouldn't take his pills or do anything without prompting.
When I stayed with him (in his "cabin"_) I was just on auto-pilot or I never would have made it. They never know how much of a toll they are taking on you and you have to be their slave to get them fed, and all the daily routine. You are never alone to just be yourself. You can no longer act goofy and sing real loud and act like you might when you have the house to yourself. Plus you can't make comments out loud anymore without then having to explain you were just talking to yourself.
My dad would have hated me and me him if he'd moved in here. But now that he has been in a nursing home I think he has learned some manners and I believe that he would be easier to live with now.
Maybe the next time your dad needs to go to the hospital you need to tell the hospital discharge team that he will not be going home with you and they need to place him in a nursing home IF that is what you and your family need.